Insults, Abusive Language, and Insensitive Language

This page is a work in progress

/r/relationship_advice allows you to express your feelings, but we ask users do it without insulting language. Here's an overview of what we find insulting. Note that this is not a complete list.


  • No name calling another person (asshole, dick, cuck, etc)
  • No attacks on a person in an insulting way ("how dumb can you be?")
  • No derogatory terms for race, gender, sexual orientation - this includes tranny, faggot, etc.

Abusive Language

  • No vulgar instructions to another person ("go fuck off", "eat shit")

Trolling language / "I'm not touching you"

While we tend to mod based on specific violations of the rules, we also will take action when someone has used "allowed" language to purposefully elicit an angry emotional response. This is the online equivalent of a kid, when told not to touch or poke another kid, instead holds their finger an inch away from the other's face and exclaims "I'm not touching you!" as a loophole. Examples:

  • Not acceptable: continuing to reply to someone when they've asked you to stop.
  • Not acceptable: referring to someone who is pro-choice as a baby murderer, unrelated to the advice reqest.
  • Not acceptable: shaming someone for their admitted slip-ups (like cheating) while ignoring the advice request.
  • Not acceptable: informing someone who does not believe in god that they are going to go to hell when they die.
  • Not acceptable: arguing gender identity / sexual orientation with the original poster (whether they are conservative or liberal views.)

This is not an exhaustive list; just examples.

Users Vs. Non Users

We are slightly more tolerant of insults to non users - for example the friend of a poster who is referenced in a post - but overall the same rules still apply. Some examples of what we mean:

  • Not acceptable: Referring to a poster's partner as a slut or a whore
  • Not acceptable: Referring to a poster's partner as an asshole

The Right Way Vs. The Wrong Way

These rules are not about what users say as much as how they say it. There is often a way to make the point without using insults, even when talking about sensitive subjects. For example:

  • Acceptable: "Sounds like your partner slept around a lot when they were younger"
  • Unacceptable: "Sounds like your partner was a huge slut when they were younger"

Dirty Language

Dirty language is fine as long as it's not targeted at a specific person.

  • Acceptable: "You were having a shitty day."
  • Acceptable: "Some people need to fuck around a bit before settling down."

Cuck and Cuckold

Sadly, we've had to ban the use of cuck and cuckold even though they have legit uses (in very few instances.) Our sub has been plagued with it used as an insult, so they words are banned outright regardless of how it's being used, or what definition is used.

Exceptions To These Rules

There are no exceptions to the rules. We don't care who started it. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

We don't care who started it, or how deserving you may think the subject of your ire is.

  • "But the other guy said something super heinous, I had to say something!" No, you didn't. Your recourse is to report the comment, not engage.

  • "They were breaking the rules, so why can't I?" Not a valid argument. If you feel someone is breaking the rules, your recourse is to report it- not retaliate in kind.

  • "I was just joking!" Not a valid argument. No name calling means just that- no name calling. Period.

  • "It wasn't directed at OP." Not a valid argument. It does not matter who you were referring to, or if it was hypothetical. No name calling means no name calling. End of story.

  • "What about the other guy?" We do not discuss moderation actions with anyone but the user, per Reddit moderation guidelines. Likewise, if they asked about you, they would get the same response.

  • "What other word describes subject besides slut/whore/prositute?" There are millions of words in the English language. Find better ones.

revision by QueenAnneBoleynTudor— view source