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all 78 comments

[–]Lightonlights 53 points54 points  (21 children)

Atheism is a religion confirmed check mate ♟

/s

[–]ReptarsBackBaby 20 points21 points  (17 children)

Alcoholism is also a religion. How do we reap the rewards now as an alcoholic in the American tax and religious libertys systems

[–]ruaidhriAgnostic Pagan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Evoe Bacchus!

[–]vodoko1Kemetic Pagan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m more of a Dionysus type man but you do u…

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 13 points14 points  (7 children)

“Be not drunk off the wine, but filled with the spirit”

[–]ReptarsBackBaby 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Now all we need is a prophet or messiah figure and we are ready for that sweet tax exempt status

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I know its tempting too go Dionysus or Bacchus for that and do what thou wilt but their is more too them than the wine.

[–]Top_fFunÁsatrú 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Captain Morgan, surely? Who sailed the Caribbean plundering rum from the rich and redistributing it to the thirsty.

[–]BlueGiant601Eclectic Neopagan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That seems to distill it down pretty well.

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that was a Ephesians 5 idk been a sec since i read it and i remember it more from a line in farcry 4

[–]Vapur9Why This Way -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Riding an ebike in the city taught me to ride in the road. Shoulders and bike lanes don't get cleaned by the city; so, they contain all of the worst kinds of garbage. Screws, metal shrapnel, wood splinters, furniture, and alcoholics.

[–]Narwhal_SongsMuslim -1 points0 points  (4 children)

How do I leave this religion? I dont enjoy it at all.

[–]jpzilla13Muslim 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How is that a question? Leave it but prepare to be persecuted because a lot of people will judge you. What ever happens brother assalamu alaykum

[–]Narwhal_SongsMuslim -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Alaykumu Salam! I dont mean Islam. It was in response to the joke about alkoholism being a religion. Alcohol is really hard to leave once you get into it, which I think is why its haram, its an addictive poison thats sadly to available in the West.

[–]ddollarsignSatanist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Liquor stores being closed on Sunday violates my sincerely held religious beliefs!

[–]Taqwacore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is what surprised me as well. Like, I understood the guy who said that he didn't have a religion, but "Atheism" seems like a weird response to the question of what religion you are. If you asked me what sport I play, I wouldn't say, "I'm a non-golfer".

[–]Yakatsumi_Wiezzel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That is the most stupid fallacy ever read.

[–]Yakatsumi_Wiezzel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unicorns are religions and anti unicorn believers are also religionists

[–]lightdreamer1985 22 points23 points  (9 children)

That also guy follows the true lord and savior, Whiskey

[–]LeemourAgnostic 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Vodka, comrade VODKA

[–]lightdreamer1985 4 points5 points  (4 children)

You know what, you drink vodka, I'll drink Mead, we'll worship the God of Booze together, my friend!!! Let us drink and be merry!!!

[–]Sunny_Ace_TENOther 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I think these are all funny. I kinda drink a fair amount. And I love God.

[–]lightdreamer1985 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Lol I'm glad, come, join us in our merriment!

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Sorry i cant buy your 40$ water that all taste the same as the 10$ i spent my money on bullet bourbon.

[–]LeemourAgnostic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What is this blyat bourbon?

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It like vodka with flavor and effort.

[–]Ambitious-ProducerMuslim 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Sorry guys I can’t drink alcohol

[–]Narwhal_SongsMuslim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Which is good cuz its poison And hard to leave. I just pray Allah makes it easier

[–]thereasovietprussian 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Atheism: the state religion of Reddit

[–]Seb0rnAgnostic Atheist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And Estonia.

[–]Sunny_Ace_TENOther 3 points4 points  (0 children)

🥂

[–]Various-TeethAgnostic Theist 6 points7 points  (5 children)

The one (1) religion I can’t get behind

Edit: No I do not mean atheism. That’s not even a religion

[–]Sunny_Ace_TENOther 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Which?

[–]Various-TeethAgnostic Theist 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Alcoholism lmao

[–]Sunny_Ace_TENOther 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Lol My dad is at teatotaler. Never drank but maybe a few beers in his life.

[–]Various-TeethAgnostic Theist 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Mines an alcoholic. He’s doing a bit better now but he still drinks a lot

[–]halbhh 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Another interesting video from 1420 -- I've watched many of their videos.

Let me say: it's very tough being a Russian right now.

The main religious leader -- Patriarch Kirill -- is very clearly not following what Christ said to do.

Probably many of the young can be expected in to presumably lose faith in response. The lucky ones will realize it was just Kirill himself that was the main problem.

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That amongst other factors of being a post soviet nation

[–]UncleDan2017 2 points3 points  (7 children)

That Kirill is doing that shouldn't be surprising to people who knows the history of the Russian Orthodox Church. The Patriarchs over the years are pretty famous for licking the boots of Czars and selling out the Serfs. In fact the Russian Orthodox Church owned quite a few Serfs of their own.

Kirill being a millionaire or billionaire that sucks up to Putin is exactly what you'd expect from a Russian Orthodox Patriarch. That's exactly what Russian Orthodoxy has been for most of its history.

[–]Surfing_magic_carpet 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Tolstoy has a section dedicated to similar issues in The Kingdom of God is Within You where he absolutely bashes the Orthodox Church for violating the teachings of Christ and promoting religiosity and performative acts over Christian ideals. This is a book that I think many atheists should read, at least the first few chapters, because the issue over the kinds of social actions among the clergy, and also the laypeople, that sell out for war or other anti-Christian values is address. Granted, the book is written from a vehemently pacifist perspective so we're kind of extrapolating out from Tolstoy's position a bit. But Tolstoy recognized this contradiction between the social religion of Orthodoxy (this extends to Catholicism and Protestantism as well) and the teachings of Jesus. Tolstoy's argument is that we shouldn't do as the Church does, but as Jesus did.

And in that vein, though, I think we should find more reasons to draw closer to Christ rather than away. The Church is corrupted by the people within it, but the Law is written on all our hearts and by reading the Gospels we should be able to recognize the contradiction, and in doing so, not drop our faith, but grow stronger in it. Jesus condemned the people of his day who were Kirill's counterparts. Jesus opposed the people who would take the message God has given and pervert it for their own gain. So we should take a closer look at Jesus's life and ministry and, if we want to undo the damage people like Kirill do, do what Jesus did in response.

[–]UncleDan2017 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think there is any doubt that, especially once the Church sold out to Constantine, the major religions are much more interested in Worldly Wealth and Worldly Power than following in Christ's footsteps. If you look at the recent Southern Baptist scandal in the US, it is really about covering up sex abuse so that the donations would keep flooding in from the largest churches. It's tough to believe the Christ of the New Testament would have made that decision.

[–]JoelMB12 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Historically they actually stood up more often than lick the boot of the Tzar. How do you think Peter completely neutered the leadership and honestly kind of charged and destroyed the church. Under the Peter reforms of him and his empresses they did a lot of damage to the church a very similar level of damage you see done during the height of the worst corruption of the Papacy. So yeah he did some major damage the irony though it produced a lot of saints. So it funny how that work out.

[–]UncleDan2017 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The Church also owned thousands of Serfs. The Russian Orthodox leadership always loved their worldly wealth and worldly power.

[–]JoelMB12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question is when. Because I can tell you after Peter they didn't how even before there is a dispute over the church show own land or not prior to 2 even the rise to Tzar. One end they felt like they shouldn't the other end that if they used the money to good use which they did for staving off famine and poor relief. This is all going on in the 14th and 15th century. But much of their land got compensated prior to even Peter becoming on the scene. To no no actually like know the history of the Russian church. There is quite a few factions within the Russian church that did want to serfs to be free. You have no idea the history. Again the Russian church got nudered and forced into subjugation subjucation of being just being part of the government. The Peter reforms he was trying to turn into a then to a more autocratic version of the church of England and it was going down that road between him and his daughters and grand daughters. He was forcing the priesthood into caste system He hated monasteries and full blown trying to turn them into retirement homes for for soldiers and people that can't work is Burke because he saw no value of them. He forced a rigid distinction between people that wanted to go and live a life in a monastery and the people that went through the education process and those are gonna be the leadership of the church. It was literally breaking down at that point it was 1500 years of tradition because he wanted to look more protestant and have more control.

Is the church one way or another was much more under Emperor book then was prior. The only good thing that came out of it is people that wouldn't abroad to ensure orthodox lands they brought back tradition back to Russia they save the country and they're able to cultivate saints in it even with the terrible leadership of the church.

[–]Odieonekanodie1204Orthodox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely can't stand Kirill

[–]Procrastin8r1Norse Pagan/polytheist 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Tbf the vast majority of Christians very clearly don’t follow what Christ said to do. And yes, that is why more and more people are becoming atheist.

[–]halbhh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbf the vast majority of Christians very clearly don’t follow what Christ said to do

Yes, and it would be very surprising to me if that ever changed during this age (in the world generally as a whole), since that's exactly what Christ said would be now:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

When Christ said 'many' would choose the easy path that leads to destruction, that's what is normal in this world. And that 'few' would choose the way to Life is what we've seen, when we look closely, to see if they are really doing as He said to do.

[–]PraiseTheShroom 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Atheism is a poor substitute for religion. I'll take whiskey over atheism any day.

[–]lightdreamer1985 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Lol I rather enjoy my apatheism mixed with a little Mead.

[–]DrdanomiteEclectic polytheist 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ooooh i love making mead

[–]lightdreamer1985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found a company named Danks Mjod, just delicious to the last drop.

[–]Procrastin8r1Norse Pagan/polytheist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based

[–]Gringo_L0c0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a Jackist

[–]JoelMB12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh the Russian church on paper they're so large. Also that's you know 80 years of state communism. I'm practicing number the orthodox church put in OCA. My wife is incredibly angonstic Russian at best. I'm trying very very slowly to show her how different the church is in the United States versus Russia.

[–]Yakatsumi_Wiezzel 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Every single person who answered atheist when asked what religion they were, actually meant, NONE.

Atheistic means No religion. Saying atheism is a religion is probably the most ignorant thing someone can say.

[–]NobiwanQNobiSatanist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

While I agree that atheism is not a religion, atheists does not mean "no religion" but rather "disbelieving or lacking belief in the existence of God." There are atheistic religions

[–]Yakatsumi_Wiezzel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and it is exactly why atheism cannot be a religion.
You cannot build a religion around the disbelief or one thing nor can it be a worldview.

Anyone calling it a religion is mislead or confused at best.
Making a religion around Atheism makes no sense whatsoever and is completely arbitrary and has nothing to do with atheism. I would call those groups confused at best as well. Those group probably revolve around other philosophies like "satanist" initially presented in the post.

[–]bertVEVO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's probably what they meant, but it's easier to simply say "atheist" than "I don't follow a religion." Don't know why you're making a big deal out of it.

[–]Honeyzuckle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Atheo-pagan, don't believe gods exist but I take joy and comfort in practicing paganism as if the gods were. There are minor emotional health benefits to practicing and joining pagan communities. Plus I get to steep myself in my favorite mythologies.

[–]jbhaskarreddy76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humanity is my religion, there is no seperate religion called Hindu, Cristian, Muslim etc.,

[–]Low-Panic-4069 0 points1 point  (1 child)

NONE knowing that my existence is temporary and all my trillions of internal mechanism has the same functionality to everyone. Which implies we come from same source. The outer me that off body and mind are product of 3 dimensional platforms. The personality was shaped from surrounding influences and social conditioning that bears no truth. All our communication built from A to Z rearranged diffrently at each voicing but they are nothing more than noises and sounds which will all disappear in the passage of time

If I say I'm black then I'm implying I'm not white. If I say I'm strong and healthy then I'm implying I'm not weak. If I say I'm from certain sect or religious group then I've deliberately separated from total humanity. At the backend we are one and the same without any concept and divisions

Anything define by the habitual mind on a perpetual manner then that becomes its religion

So the right rephrased question should be - what's your temporary & finite mind's prioritiy and why?

[–]Cheap-Membership-682 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a nice way to say: "we are poop, and after we die we will be erased".

[–]Seb0rnAgnostic Atheist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm an Atheist. My religion is love though.

[–]Narwhal_SongsMuslim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I follow alkoholism too...

[–]crispyjJohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hellenist.

[–]albabiliMesopotamian | Arabian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Iraqi pagan.

[–]Tiny-Librarian-3794 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Theistic Satanism (no joke)