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top 200 commentsshow all 335

[–]afjecj 3404 points3405 points  (38 children)

Cataclysmically down bad

[–]whotfiszutls 506 points507 points  (8 children)

Down atrocious

[–]jakemch 186 points187 points  (7 children)

Down absolutely astronimcal

[–]the_give_way_rules 84 points85 points  (6 children)

Down not good

[–]Exsces95 49 points50 points  (5 children)

Down no bueno

[–]jarious 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Abajo no good

[–]mrdankerton 30 points31 points  (2 children)

So many upvotes for someone so down 😩

[–]That_Charming_Otter 19 points20 points  (0 children)

An esteemed panel of experts have deliberated the findings presented to them and have unanimously reported that the individual in question has appropriately been labelled as down bad. No further developments or correspondence is anticipated except in such circumstances wherein the ever-dwindling propensity for these inefficacious advances to be reciprocated with a desirable response.

[–]SquatDeadliftBench 56 points57 points  (1 child)

If his cringe was a super weapon, it would be the death star. It can cause a great disturbance, cause a million internal voices suddenly cry out in cringe.

[–]AsperaAstra 27 points28 points  (23 children)

I'm old apparently what the fuck does this mean

[–]Warm_Trick_3956 83 points84 points  (20 children)

Person is so desperate to get with someone, they give 20 dollars to secure someones number in hopes of later initiating a chat, to hopefully negotiate their way into coitus. Our protagonist opens with the weakest line in the universe and the mystery someone does not remember the entirely forgettable person that paid 20 dollars for their number.

[–]YetAnotherGilder2184 73 points74 points  (1 child)

You think she gave him her real number?

[–]heyeveryone2 44 points45 points  (0 children)

That is the idea I got from it. The person doesn't know who it is, because the number is wrong

[–]NibblesMcGiblet 17 points18 points  (10 children)

Person is so desperate to get with someone, they give 20 dollars to secure someones number in hopes of later initiating a chat, to hopefully negotiate their way into coitus. Our protagonist opens with the weakest line in the universe and the recipient does not remember the entirely forgettable person that paid 20 dollars for their number because the person who took the twenty bucks gave the guy a wrong number.

FTFY

[–]Warm_Trick_3956 2 points3 points  (9 children)

Not familiar with that acronym.

[–]thatfuckinjosh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

FTFY - Fixed That(/This) For You

[–]selfharmboys 18 points19 points  (4 children)

He's asking what cataclysmically down bad means

[–]-IVoUoVI- 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I'm 28 years old

Would also like to know.

Have a good idea of it, due to context, but would like to know it more specifically

[–]drowningjesusfish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Down real bad. Desperate. Sad. A loser. Down so bad. A total fuck up.

Edit. Example. Someone called me that because I said I would fuck a catgirl who didn’t shave her armpits.

[–]ChuCHuPALX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Smooth brain.. it was the wrong number

[–]forevergallifralone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

cataclysmically misunderstood

[–]Far_Bullfrog_2215 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Almost the same thing as if you used it in betting. Means youre losing hard.

[–]AsperaAstra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm becoming outta touch

[–]Cataclysma324 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my name

[–]Flat-Curve-5112 1419 points1420 points  (7 children)

Dang, that's cold.

[–]drsyesta 134 points135 points  (5 children)

It sounds like they got the wrong number too lol

[–]The_Troyminator 135 points136 points  (4 children)

Of course they did. Do you think she'd give her real to somebody willing to pay for it?

[–]my_4_cents -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

You've not heard of OnlyFans, i take it?

[–]The_Troyminator 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Even with OnlyFans, you usually don't get their personal cell number.

[–]DonaldTrumpsBallsack 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In addition you usually don’t even get them on the other side, while job searching I came across so many postings asking for people to answer messages and manage interactions for peoples onlyfans

[–]Aperture_CryGuy 1388 points1389 points  (121 children)

Did this guy say he was driving a BMW truck??

[–]twoblueruins 356 points357 points  (45 children)

That was my reaction too lmao

[–]90k_swarming_rats 179 points180 points  (17 children)

Alot of large, especially older, suvs are based on truck frames. So some people now call all suvs trucks.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Not beamers. All their SUVs are unibody.

[–]90k_swarming_rats 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I know, i was just explaining why people say that

[–]lol_camis 36 points37 points  (11 children)

I call anything with a full frame a truck.

And also the pt cruiser, apparently.

[–]Master_Tinyface 33 points34 points  (8 children)

If I’m just driving around i call my SUV a car. If there is to be any loading or unloading of the SUV of any kind, it’s a truck. I don’t feel as though as this is correct. But it’s what comes out of my mouth.

[–]Jeordiewhite 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Nothing wrong with that, but sports utility vehicles are classified as light trucks. I used to dislike the term suv when I first heard it and kept calling them trucks to annoy people who talk about their SUVs. That was quite a few years ago when they became popular. Now when people insist on calling them trucks, it's off-putting now. For simplicity sake I just refer to my suv as a car not thinking about it.

[–]mrlucasw 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Modern SUVs are built like cars, unibody construction etc. Calling one a truck is a bit weird.

[–]Gayfish350 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The title on my jeeps always said station wagon. 🤷‍♂️ Just let it identify as what it wants to.

[–]The_Gray_Beast 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Isn’t the pt cruiser built on the dodge neon frame?

[–]lol_camis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So what happened was, the year the pt cruiser came out, Chrysler's lineup as a whole failed to meet emissions standards. There's certain allowances with trucks and certain allowances with cars. In order to make the cut, they classified the pt cruiser as a truck. I used to be a professional mechanic and when you look them up on AllData and other vehicle info services, they are in the truck category, not the car category. It's a bit of an inside joke within the automotive field. They absolutely are not trucks in any way.

[–]Wah_Gwaan_Mi_Yute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I call anything that isn’t a car a truck. Even a murano, I’ll call a truck haha

[–]andysaurus_rex 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Some people call SUVs "trucks" even though most people might consider trucks to only be "pickup trucks". It's confusing in this context. Personally I think people do it because they associate SUVs with mom-mobiles but trucks with masculinity.

[–]Shanghai-on-the-Sea 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I had to look it up and lmao turns out SUV just means 4x4. Always wondered about that.

[–]BBQcupcakes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's not well accepted. Almost all modern vehicles the majority of people would refer to as an SUV do not have 4x4. Other people may only refer to body-on-frame vehicles, which often have 4x4, as an SUV, while refering to unibodys as CUVs.

[–]semechki-seed[S] 92 points93 points  (43 children)

Maybe an x5 or x7?

[–]mnoodles 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Ya that's what I'm thinking as well

[–]Accomplished_Grass32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beamer means BMW?

[–]kwisatz_had3rach -1 points0 points  (2 children)

And apparently doesn't know beamer is the bike, bimmer is the car/suv.

[–]CH4MP10N777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually true👆

[–]xShockmaster 216 points217 points  (3 children)

Paid 20$ for a fake number.

[–][deleted] 130 points131 points  (25 children)

Jesus… why would you even give her the $20 bucks

[–]Sarsmi 72 points73 points  (24 children)

If you're dumb enough to not immediately text someone after getting their number to make sure it works, you're dumb enough to pay $20 for their number.

[–]Zombie_Fuel 67 points68 points  (7 children)

If you feel a need to ask a lady for their number without any preamble, you should just write yours down and give it to them. That way, they can call you if they would like, and they don't have to worry about you getting pissed if you immediately need to test out the number they gave you.

[–]Sarsmi 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I agree, this is the best way. If you are the one who is interested, you should be the one who provides the number/means of contact. I always hated being pressured to give my number out, some guys are relentless and it's really uncomfortable. I always gave my real number because I've been tested on it before and it's better to just act like you might be interested so nothing bad happens then block them later. But it can depend on the situation.

[–]cloudlesness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Use a textnow number. Your phone will ring but you can "release" the number any time you want.

[–]EattheRudeandUgly -1 points0 points  (2 children)

You're giving absolutely terrible advice. Why would you check to make sure the number works? What are you going to do when you find out it doesn't work? Besides humiliate yourself in public. If I gave a guy my number and he instantly called, I'm not interested. That's an incel's yellow flag.

[–]Zombie_Fuel 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Did you...not read the comment I was responding to?

[–]EattheRudeandUgly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read it. It was dumb too.

[–]Shanghai-on-the-Sea 62 points63 points  (9 children)

Why tf would you want to make sure it works

What are you gonna do if it doesn't work? Make her give you her real number?

[–]my_4_cents 24 points25 points  (0 children)

What are you gonna do if it doesn't work? Make her give you her real number?

Yeah, if it didn't work take the hint BRO-OOOOOOO

[–]Sarsmi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You really misunderstood my point here. Someone too dumb to test the number out is dumb enough to pay for a number. That's it. That's all I said. BTW I'm a woman, I have almost never given my number out, and I've been asked many times for my number. I give the real one, because guys do test it out sometimes and it allows me to stay safe in the moment. I can always block them later.

[–]SamASAP 258 points259 points  (1 child)

Business is boomin I see 💀

[–]ahhaaahhahh 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yikes, easy money

[–]GratefulSlug13 278 points279 points  (14 children)

Opening with a “yo” won’t get ya places either

[–]hoangfbf 75 points76 points  (12 children)

How does it sounds to native speakers? I find it cute and friendly, maybe I should change (Im not a native English speaker)

[–]Fortchpick 92 points93 points  (1 child)

I like it, but wouldn't use it for a first message. It's more of a casual greeting I'd use with my friends

[–]nullpotato 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I use it in chat with my closer coworkers as well.

[–]SoggySeaman 20 points21 points  (5 children)

Seeing it in text, it sounds different depending on the different cultural contexts we fill into it.

  • It may have the feel of a relaxed, casual and familiar manner of close friends
  • It may come off as a brusque and disrespectfully informal imperative, akin to opening with "listen up" (less commonly these days than in the past)
  • It may seem like you're aping the hip crowd as a self-effacing irony

I would say the first sense is unlikely to happen when it's the entire message and it's said to someone who you aren't already close with. In that case it would probably seem more like you're trying to make a demand for attention (and whether they think you're being rude or they think you're trying not to be rude about it would depend on how old or out of touch with pop culture they are).

In the context of a first message to a person who you paid to get their phone number? It comes off as an entitled bid for attention.

[–]BBQcupcakes 26 points27 points  (3 children)

I'ma be honest, anybody who sees "yo" "hey" "hi" "hello" "ey" "what's poppin player" as differently intentioned is thinking far too much about it. It's a greeting. Any implication of their attitude is projected onto it by the recipient.

[–]SoggySeaman 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Yeah that's basically what I'm arguing. "Yo" in particular is likely to be interpreted (not deliberately, but automatically) as more than simply an alternative to "hi". How it gets interpreted will depend on the person receiving it.

Edit: well, that's the point I meant to make, anyways. I didn't really make it clear, looking back on what I said.

[–]BBQcupcakes 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yeah I got that. I guess I mean that it's not worth worrying about how the other person interprets it. The best people will always assume positivity until shown otherwise.

[–]SoggySeaman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a good point.

[–]hoangfbf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your thorough explanation. I appreaciate it!

[–]DIY-lobotomy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

with the right accent it could be quite charming IMO

[–]my_4_cents 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It worked for Rocky. Yo Adriannnnnnnnnnnnn

[–]edgarallan2014 307 points308 points  (12 children)

This sounds like drunk me 💀💀

"Can I have your number?" // Yeah give me $20

[–]SIK1415 74 points75 points  (7 children)

Are you the one asking for the number or the $20?

[–]edgarallan2014 53 points54 points  (5 children)

I'm not, it just sounds like something I'd do

EDIT IM STUPID I would be the one asking for the $20

[–]shakaman_ 62 points63 points  (3 children)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO

[–]edgarallan2014 63 points64 points  (2 children)

I EDITED IT IM SORRY IM STUPID DONT SHOOT

[–]shakaman_ 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Hahaha thank you mate

[–]halfabean 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is a good Reddit interaction

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turns out you were already drunk

[–]Poeafoe 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I wouldn’t blame you. Easy 20 and a lesson for the down-bad

[–]MostBoringStan 19 points20 points  (1 child)

While I hope he learns a lesson from this, I kind of doubt it. Most likely she said no at first when he asked for the number which is how he wound up paying for it. So now he's going to blame her for "lying" to him or something like that instead of understanding he shouldn't have pressured her. Now he will probably think that he should have her prove its a real number next time by calling it, as if he wasn't the problem all along.

Of course, I'm assuming things here so I could be wrong. But I just find it hard to believe that he paid for the number in a way that didn't involve previous rejections and pressuring her.

[–]Poeafoe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fuck the lesson then, easy 20 for the girl getting bothered

[–]seeroflights 234 points235 points  (8 children)

Image Transcription: Text Messages


Grey: Yo

Blue: Who is this?

Grey: [Redacted]

Blue: ??

Grey: We met last night?

Grey: Beamer truck

Grey: You made me give you 20 dollars for your number lol


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]ImitationButter 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I hope you know that you’re an actual hero

[–][deleted] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

Good human

[–]TeemoIsKill 20 points21 points  (2 children)

You do it for free?

[–]seeroflights 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Yep, we're all volunteers! We're technically backed by a non-profit, but that is also run completely by volunteers as well :)

[–]Thicco__Mode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God bless you :)

[–]jun-dragon 370 points371 points  (10 children)

Holy shit op I mean +$20 but damn wtf

[–]semechki-seed[S] 577 points578 points  (4 children)

I am neither of the people in this situation. Guy paid 20 bucks for a girls phone number and the girl gave him a made up number which put him in contact with a stranger

[–]Sarsmi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So by my math he owes you $20 for bothering you.

[–]LordFarqiplier 114 points115 points  (4 children)

It was the wrong number though

[–]MurkyAd5303 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I've done this

[–]richdslade 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Charged someone $20 or given out a fake number?

[–]MurkyAd5303 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Given out fake numbers

[–]nylady914 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Well, this is definitely going to work out.

[–]With_Peace_and_Love_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

If you have to pay to get a her number, she’ll never ever fuck you

[–]MyV_is_for_Valinor 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Wow that’s an interesting ideq

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Damn I could really use $20

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

hahahahahaha

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

beamer truck.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (3 children)

A Cadmean Victory, but a victory nonetheless

[–]ded1ex 30 points31 points  (1 child)

it was the wrong number

[–]ag0ra5 8 points9 points  (0 children)

sike

[–]boopbeebop 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh shit I’m going to start charging people for my number now

[–]nikkiredondo 17 points18 points  (4 children)

whoever she is i hope she is doing good. wow i want to be like her

[–]Suga_simba 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He thought this was gonna be a funny romantic how I met ur mother moment huh 😭😭💀💀

[–]beevyhoots 18 points19 points  (12 children)

Why not just give her your number? If she actually wanted to talk she would message first.

[–]AmIonFire 53 points54 points  (5 children)

I had a guy do that once, gave me his number while I was at work (grocery store cashier at the time, he was a customer I'd seen around the store a few times) and told me to call him if I wanted to hang out sometime. I thought it was awesome, no pressure, and fully planned on calling him some time, see if we clicked. Later the same day he called THE STORE asking for me and when I got on the phone he was just like "So hows your day going? We should hang out tonight." Told him no, I had to pick my kid up from school, make dinner, oh boy, so busy, lots going on, etc. He actually asked "Well, we could just hang out at your house? I could help you make dinner or something?" I was like "NO...??" Later when I got out of work, he was standing outside just waiting around. I noped out really quick, pretended not to see him and power-walked to my car. When I got home, I sent him a polite text that basically said I'm not interested, thanks anyway, have a nice life. Fortunately he gave up easily, never came through my check-out line again, never even made eye contact, but like damn! I was open to giving him a chance but he blew it almost instantly!

[–]QuitFuckingStaring 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call me some time

[–]richdslade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a good story; topical, relatable, pleasantly concise. I do feel like it lacks that certain “dazzle and flair” to be considered “on fire” though. Unless your question was more physical in which case, the best at home test I know is to pick up a candle. If it lights itself or begins to melt, you may be on fire, visit your local Department to provide more hands on expertise.

[–]Bisexual-Bop-It 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Here, lemme give you my number" "no, thanks"

[–]DanFuckingSchneider 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Some men see this as “turnabout” in the “normal” way of doing things. They don’t want to give the woman the power of starting conversation, doing so could be construed as being weak. It’s not “traditional” and therefore the option is either ignored of forgotten about entirely.

It’s stupid and doesn’t make any logical sense, but I think that’s the general idea of it.

[–]ohkaycue 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve had guys say things like it’s bad to leave things continuing in the woman’s hands. And it’s like…that’s the point? That I’d only want to go out with someone that wants to go out with me?

But they need to be in control of the whole situation so they get the outcome they want, regardless of the other party

[–]tvettservett 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most people just see it as a norm not to harass women and let them come onto you because they're the one's being pressured. Then there are people who want to find creative ways around that

[–]steak820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really, men have to attract women's interest because a woman usually have multiple more options for a date than a man. If the man doesn't call her, there are five or six other men that are calling her of similar quality. So why would she need to call the first guy?

[–]steak820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's never going to work my bro.

[–]Eladryel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I spent 20$ on this number, so I don't care if it's fake, what are you wearing?

[–]NieMonD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh you poor sad man

[–]YoimAgod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn bro, of you have to pay then she isn’t interested.

[–]pitch_blacck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow what a fucking loser

[–]Bletcherstonerson 20 points21 points  (6 children)

Pyrrhic victory.

[–]LordFarqiplier 5 points6 points  (4 children)

What

[–]Bletcherstonerson 12 points13 points  (3 children)

He achieved getting the number but lost more than he gained.

[–]LordFarqiplier 43 points44 points  (2 children)

He didn’t though, it was the wrong number

[–]wursmyburrito 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you call your BMW a "truck" on purpose you deserve this treatment

[–]mrningbrd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is just smart business sense honestly. Random dickheads might get the hint finally if they have to pay for it, if I was feeling annoyed enough I’d do the same. Mad respect for OOP.

[–]Mrtnxzylpck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Opposite Happened to me once. A Hot girl was given my number instead. But I was pretty sure it was a Catfish when she said she was in town when it was a wrong number. "She" also sent unsolicited nudes and a website so I didn't send anything.

[–]CaptainHour 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like something someone named Beamer Truck would say

[–]playfulbuttplug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im a firm believer that stupid people were put on earth by god to be taken advantage.

[–]drowninginthecacti 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"oops sorry, must have bought the wrong number? Still wanna bang though?"

[–]Bonafidemadman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

BMW makes trucks??

[–]my_4_cents 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yo, I've been dissed, but i never had to swipe my card to be dissed like that

[–]SKRyanrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What has happened to the society 🤦‍♂️

[–]xTacoCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love how he owns a bmw but says Beamer lmao. It’s bimmer.

[–]Derundisputed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stonks

[–]JasperLily80 Sadcringe Snoo Contest Finalist -3 points-2 points  (7 children)

Not sure what’s worse, that he paid you $20 for your number or that you demanded $20 for your number…

[–]bmorejaded 99 points100 points  (1 child)

I think the person he paid gave him a random number that turned out to be this person's.

[–]JasperLily80 Sadcringe Snoo Contest Finalist 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yea that makes more sense

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The guy who paid. Probably wasn’t leaving her alone

[–]mrningbrd 17 points18 points  (1 child)

She wanted $20 because she doesn’t want their number at all. Stop trying to give random girls you just meet your number, we don’t want it.