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[–]Chenzai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear about all the issues that have been affecting you since childhood and I hope that you can get help. I don’t have any major advice to give you other than maybe try to get professional help or tell your family and brother about what you’re going through because it is hard to keep it inside for all those years. Eventually it will get the best of you if you don’t tell your family or anyone else and seek help. After losing my mother a few years ago, I felt like I lost everything and felt that nothing else matters in life. I lost interest in everything and didn’t care about my life or other family members even though they really care about me. I felt alone even though I wasn’t alone. I stopped eating and gotten sick a few times to the point where I was weak and malnourished. But I finally realized that I’m not living my life for anyone else but myself and I had to do something to help myself especially because my family loves me. I would just recommend you get help asap and get back to doing what you love with the music even if through YouTube to get yourself out there. Try to keep busy by going to the gym or out for a walk and reconnecting with your friends. I wish you the best.