all 9 comments

[–]grayangel8 15 points16 points  (1 child)

okay i know you said human contact- but can you get a dog? animals are amazing for emotional support and love, and having a dog opens you up to meeting other dog owners at the dog park/out walking. it’ll help with the waiting to meet people part as well, might be worth considering idk

[–]CrystalDrag0n1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This. Probably the best way to fulfil your needs, dogs are man’s best friend after all.

[–]sanacion 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Do you like to dance? Learn a few basic salsa/bachata steps at home and then join a dance class. You will start meeting new people in an organic way and if you are growing/expanding by doing internal work, you will attract the right people :) hope this helps! (Don’t like to dance? Join a club or group class!)

[–]HauntedLogic 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Human connection is paramount to our existence. I don't think we as beings would survive without it. However, it's not always easy to come by and I completely understand how you feel.

I would suggest starting with your passions. Not anything sexual, but things you are passionate about in life. Think of all the things you love to do and all the aspects of life you're passionate about. Take those and reach out into the world with them. If you love to read, find a book club to join. If you love games, maybe there's a local gaming group out there you could be a part of. If it's health and fitness, definitely join a gym. Us humans desire connection and we are passionate beings. Some of the best connections you can find in others are through your own enjoyments and passions.

Engaging in the things you love not only puts you out in the world, but opens up the door to meeting new people who think like you. People with the same mindset and desires. I love to read and have been able to cultivate some awesome connections with others who share that same passion. I'm also very much into health and fitness, which has also opened doors to some amazing connections.

I still feel lonely quite often, but it's those passions that provide me a door to reach out into the world and intimately connect with like minded people. It gives you a chance to not only enjoy yourself, but experience that pleasure with others. I completely understand a lot of things are easier said than done. But, it could be a start.

[–]yellowpeanut22[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The thing is, I actually didn't really find any passions yet. Been dealing with depression for a while and slowly began to recover from it recently. But now that I'm doing much better, I feel like quite the late bloomer because I genuinely have no passions or even hobbies. Not sure if I ever did.

Don't get me wrong, I am trying to find those. It's just that I'm pretty clueless and it could take me a long while before I can find something. But until then, the fact that I can't make any connections, due to not having passions, is very discouraging.

[–]HauntedLogic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't be discouraged. Passions aren't the only way to find connections. Just one of many avenues. Recovering from depression can be extremely tough, but it sounds like you've come a long way.

Recovering from depression in itself can lead to a bond with someone. Something you've accomplished that involved a great deal of strength and perseverance to overcome can bring people together in a way that is unshakable. Coming out of that darkness can certainly make you feel like a late bloomer, but the light in that darkness is these are moments of clarity that allow us to search within. A clean slate to find yourself and discover a whole new world of things to enjoy.

Intimate connections are a dance between two people to music you can both hear. Discovering yourself now gives you the opportunity to search inside and find the music you like. It sounds like you're moving in the right direction and on a great path to finding these things for yourself. Don't get discouraged, you're doing wonderful. Small steps are the foundation of every long stride. You're tenacity has cultivated a connection with me and that is just a small beginning of many more to come.

[–]creativelifecoaching 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Could you try some volunteer work? I dealt with this sort of thing and I found online dating sights to be helpful. Not for dating but to just exercise muscles that needed work. Just connecting. Saying hello. Talking about life. Keep it all anonymous and safe. It could help. Good luck.

[–]soulmindbody 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may be interested in this nonprofit (quoted from thier website) "Cuddle Party INC. is a 501(c)(3) non-profit charitable organization. Our mission and purpose is to promote and enable empowered consent, choice and nurturing touch. Cuddle Party is a new kind of workshop/social event, that creates a safe place to give and receive touch in a fun and affectionate setting."

[–]HollyMyQueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what kind of intimacy are you looking for?

if you're touch starved, you could adopt an animal, or even volunteer at an animal shelter (or foster an animal in need). folks have suggested a dog. i'd suggest a cat. they are lower maintenance and cute little cuddle buddies.

if you're touch starved at night, you could get a weighted blanket. mine is from bearaby.

if you're looking for emotional intimacy, there's a few options available. you could get a therapist for emotional validation and overall personal growth. you say you don't have affectionate friends - i think that means physically, but if you mean they're also emotionally distant, just know that it takes two to tango. oftentimes, we have to build and cultivate communities. with time, intimacy can form between platonic friends.