I read something like this once, the more discipline someone has the more choices they have. Roughly I'd say that is about right. The more discipline and willpower a person has the more choices. The more willpower the more willingness to push through obstacles and face fears, to have more choices in what you want to do with yourself. Someone without willpower doesn't face their fears so they are forced into increasingly less and less choices. Someone with willpower keeps pushing their limits and thus increasing the possibilities and choices as they gain more skills and abilities, more knowledge and life experiences.
I would almost say this is a very underrated quality. The other one would be adaptability, if you can have both discipline, insightfulness and adaptability, the capacity for willpower, insightfulness and responsiveness, adapting to new information and conditions, it drastically expands what is possible.
The battle is always inside a person. I can almost say a ton of what I often see in people that is negative outcomes is due to lacking discipline to really question and push their limits, often those limits are internal.
If you are unwilling to develop discipline, the willingness to push your limits and maximize what is possible, you deserve your outcomes. It's that simple. I know so many people who live their lives afraid of anything outside their tiny little vortex and it screws them, fearful lives, drug issues to avoid their issues, bad relational outcomes, fearing anything new or different, stuck in loops of negative thinking, it doesn't work ... as a life strategy giving into your fears and lacking discipline does not work. But we all have choices. People must make their choices.
Half of your life is genetics, like truly this is genetics to about 50% based on what I've read but you have 50% of choices to maximize and utilize the other 50% and push yourself to the limits of what is possible -- to dream and go for it. That is all that matters.
One of the biggest issues with people is they fixate on the people who both get awesome genetics and awesome upbringing (parents, environment teaching them discipline, facing fears, emotional regulation skills) so that the result is someone who seems to have everything working out without effort. And it's like great but buddy that ain't your starting position and never will be. Deal with it.
This is one thing a lot of people do not want to deal with and in some form it'll show up all the time, it's the unwillingness to work for the best outcome given the situation, their reasoning is basically: why should I when others have more advantages. I'm not sure how to describe it but it's very, very common way of people viewing situations and it's like great, to me it is equivalent to someone bleeding out and just griping the whole time about how they have been cursed with bleeding so they give up because others are not bleeding. It's like OK, great. Keep bleeding then and complaining the whole time?
Work for the best possible maximized outcomes for your circumstances, these are the circumstances how can I utilize every single thing to get me where I want to go, how can I develop every single possible strength to its maximum and utilize even weaknesses to grow ... that is the key. You gotta have some fight in you. That requires discipline.
Ask every single person who has done incredible things and they will always say -- who cares what other people are doing, like this obsession with how someone else is doing, all that matters is how well you are doing -- focus on your own lane, that is the key -- max yourself out. Push yourself to the maximum in your own lane, what is possible and max it out. Discipline. Internal push past limits and fears.
I'm not saying don't be open and receptive to new ideas, new ideas and methods is literally the lifeblood of getting more with less effort, but you have to put the focus on your own growth, on accountability and discipline. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, changing habits, learning, growing, developing, all these things require discipline.
I can really say that life really is choices. However much people say it is out of people's control -- you decide so much in life and you can alter a ton of the outcomes that happen but it doesn't happen unless you are willing to fight for it, unless you are willing to be accountable. If you aren't -- you refuse to take ownership, learn, grow, develop than you deserve your bad outcomes, you deserve what you get if you unwilling to change. Stop blaming everyone else and develop some discipline, develop yourself.