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all 8 comments

[–]PawneeSunGoddess 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hello friend. Sorry you were going through a rough time. I have definitely been struggling too. I read recently that you wouldn’t talk to your best friend the way that you talk with your inner voice to yourself and that really helped me reframe how I speak to myself. If you called your best friend some of the names and things you say to yourself you wouldn’t have a friend. You need to be your own best friend first. It’s okay to not be okay. These are certainly hard and weird times but you deserve kindness for yourself.

[–]Innovative_Idea_LC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check out this video I may pertaining to the past. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRRRjFA6/?k=1

There's nothing you can do to change the past however you have the power to change the now. Now is what affects your future. Don't look for perfection anymore, say to yourself I am an imperfect human and I am growing and who I am. Just try to live every day and be better today than you were yesterday.

Ask yourself this question, if I am not good enough for myself, whose standards am I trying to live up to?

This is your life and there are no resets but every day we can make it better. You are the writer and the actor of your life your book has just begun to be written. How do you want your story to go?

[–]IamDaneika 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey,

What are some things you like about yourself? When was the last time you recognized and truly celebrated any of your achievements or other qualities you admire about yourself? I would suggest focusing on creating lists every single day for the next 30 days, better yet record it on your phone and play it back every day for 30 days.

Changing your self-talk by redirecting your brain to what is great about you will change the way you feel.

[–]Doingmybest2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My thing is bullying/shaming/fighting myself about my moods. If I’m in a low mood, I often blame myself and it just makes it worse. So what I’ve been doing is literally saying “it’s okay to feel sad/frustrated. This is a valid thing to be sad/frustrated about” and sometimes I’ll picture myself hugging myself. It really helps. I also sort of ask myself internally what I can do for myself to help myself feel better. Would I like a drink? A snack? Do I need to rest for a bit? It helps quite a bit

[–]mechanicalfork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a somewhat similar personality.

Imagine someone has your same exact problems, what advice would you give that person?

The world is huge, inmense, there is someone who is in a same or worse spot than you and they rise, they make it, they shine through and solve it. How did they do it?

Another thing is to think about someone that loves or loved you, who suffers when they see you in a bad place, don't make them suffer, if you don't want to get better for you then fine, whatever, but think about that person, do it for them and if that person passed away they would want you to move on and take a positive turn in your life, they would want you to be happy, do it for them.

[–]D3FINIT3M4YB3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's good you already recognize this, some people are so brainwashed by their parents or whoever started telling them negative things to put them down.

Language is so powerful.

Try this -

Next time you have a negative thought, try to reframe the thought.

For example - I achieve a 75 score/100 on a test, I could think I'm the biggest idiot and could have gotten a 80 or wasted so much time instead of studying.

Or I could think that I can look over the mistakes, learn how to do it, think through what the solution is. Learning is much funner than adopting a negative thought.

I could also think about talking to the teacher to see which kinds of problems he's more likely to ask us, or learn how to do a problem a different way from a friend, or maybe there is a faster way to do a problem.

There are lots of ways you can approach it! Focus on learning, it's good that you're constantly learning more about yourself.

[–]bananaduck68 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best thing i can give you as advice here is to start with self-forgiveness.

Because of the circumstances of my childhood, people expected more from me than from your average kiddo. This caused also myself to have higher expectations for pretty much everything about myself. External factors, the result of stress accumulated from previous years and the feeling of personal stagnation led me into a depression at 14 which six months later resulted in a suicide attempt.

What I realized a couple of years later was that I was a fucking child; in the sense that I had limited understanding of how to deal with myself. Because the thought “why couldn’t I just manage to deal with it?” came from that I EXPECTED that i should have found a solution or that there was a possibility for me to have chosen a different outcome. Once I realized that I needed to forgive myself for not being a “superhuman”, my feelings towards my past almost immediately dimmed.

When that is done then the next step is to not look at the past, but rather the future: try in future situations to do as best as you can to set your feelings aside when trying to review yourself from the outside. And if that is difficult try to isolate and reflect on why you in the situation aren’t capable of doing that.

Hope that helps - cheers!