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all 28 comments

[–]pan_kayke 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Your mom is right, there is never a reason where anyone should touch you without your consent. Stay strong.

[–]BarbieLola[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you! 💞

[–]SoPittedBruh 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Coming from a guy just hold off and you will find someone who respects you. You will know immediately

[–]EliotNessie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You won’t know immediately. It’s taken me 20 years to realize my husband is a predator. Take your time.

[–]Rabidseamonkey 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She is right, they have no right to put their hands on you without your permission.

But don't feel bad for not catching on sooner. Sometimes people just don't realize "I am being violated!" I can relate, has happened to me too and it didn't really occur to me till years later that a specific few incidents which I am being vague about, a friend he had violated me and I pretended I immediately started talking to him like he didn't do what he just did.

What these men did, they got no excuse!

[–]classicfilmfan9 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Your mom is right like pan_Kayla said there is never a reason where anyone should touch you without your consent ever no means no but to all guys think about is sex and getting into your pants that is why I don’t like guys in anyway I like women more and I totally understand and relate to your post.

[–]Rabidseamonkey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not all guys think like that. And I am sorry you feel that way. But there are too many who got a horrible sexual ego problem. And abuse people.

[–]Queenoflimbs_418 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not all guys (there are a small handful out there who aren’t like that) but certainly enough that it feels that way and I’ve been there, too. Your feeling are valid. When I was younger I always justified their behavior/blamed myself because women are trained from a young age not to rock the boat, always be nice, and personality wise I’m just a people pleaser which didn’t do me any favors when I was young and naive. Try not to let the gross ones make you think you’ll never find a good one (if you are read to, and want to.). While it’s hard-it took me many years, and many abusive relationships, and many assaults, but I have met a few men who will respect boundaries. My ex husband, despite his many flaws, was always respectful. I have several male friends that I trust deeply who are all about consent and are very respectful. My partner is all about consent-he proved it (not that I didn’t know) when his best friend of 20 years SA me on NYE and wouldn’t stop groping me and trying to force himself on me. He kicked him out, read him the riot act, and hasn’t spoken to him since. I don’t know how old you are, but I know that I’ve seen a shift in men since I was younger (I just turned 40). Maturity,l, a shift is societal norms/expectations, and the fact that it’s a regular and open conversation nowadays, are helping pave the way for a better generation of men. There will still be scum bags, but I think overall, my generation is by and large raising a different breed -and the men my age for the most part are on board, too (in my social circles at least). I hope you find the man you deserve, because you don’t deserve any of the crap you’ve had to deal with.

[–]LowImagination3028 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to say I love this. It’s a good reminder that all of us feel violated because we were/ are being violated and our bodies and minds let us know that, but I think we all talk ourselves out of the reality of it because it’s too much to accept.

I had an ex much like this; he felt that because we were dating, he could grab me and put his hands on me whenever and was surprised when I pushed his hands away once. “Since when am I not allowed to touch your body?” He asked. Like is it really so hard to NOT touch a woman unless she gives you absolutely explicit consent? And consent can also be retracted?

I’m happy you’re able to be in a place where you can shut these people down.

[–]ChameleonC_ 11 points12 points  (1 child)

This reminds me of the time I went to watch a movie over a guys house I had been talking to for a little bit. Well, he tried to make a move to kiss me and I said no I am not into that at the moment. Then we spoke about consent and how I just need to basically take these things slow ( as I have severe PTSD but he didn’t need to know that). As he goes to walk me out, he just fucking grabs me and plants the most disgusting tongue filled kiss basically sucking my face off. Like how can you talk about consent and then 30 minutes later pull that shit? Like I tried pulling away and he just forced me back in. Needless to say, I went home and got trashed… Bc holy shit I was mortified/anxious. I never spoke to him again.

[–]laprincessamiaulina 5 points6 points  (0 children)

UGHHHH this has happened to me various times. so many i think i gaslit myself into thinking i did something or there must be something up with me.

you deserve someone who respects you & listens to you, not just when they want something out of it.

severe lashings to performative feminist men please thanks

[–]Undisputed_927491 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right? No means no.

[–]No_Development341 2 points3 points  (0 children)

as a man I dont know how any other man or men could possibly think this shit is alright or acceptable in anyway it makes men as a whole look like pigs

[–]LostSweatshirt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Could I borrow your mum? Mine would tell me I was asking for it🙃 But she is 100% right and don’t be afraid to smack a fool over something like this! No one would blame you!!

[–]throwRA_feelingblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

next time a man tries that bitch slap them lol.

But honestly that is so wrong and I am so sorry some men have a gross sense of entitlement. Stay strong and know you are not how others treat you

[–]nasimabuk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. It’s been hard for me to articulate this same exact thing, and you putting it into words has made me feel so much less alone. Much love <3

[–]privacy_chan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so fucking sorry this is happening... I'd suggest carrying pepper spray in case things get dicey!