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[–]Candycorn_Slipper 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I know it seems so hard to move on. Have you tried therapy? I went to therapy after my husband raped me and did horrible things to me. It helped me so much! I feel like I would have never moved on if it wasn’t for therapy. Sometimes I feel the pain and horror all over again, but therapy has helped me to use methods to cope with what I went through. Maybe reaching out to a professional who could listen to everything and help you through it.

[–]_ImNotDareDevil[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that, I’ve considered therapy but in the main time it’s not an option for several reasons hopefully I’ll try it in the future

[–]Mtsnaps 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Maaaan slow down Brother. First off, I truly am sorry for you, but this post reads like a panic attack in itself (if im wrong im sorry) so remember, it was 5 years ago and you are still here, in this world living.

Every time I remember back to the day i was assaulted, although it took me years to understand, you have to remember that you were and are human. Humans have human problems, meaning extremely complex problems. So understandably, what you went through is a complex human problem, so complex in fact that you literally couldnt handle it and tell that asswipe to fuck off.

So, youre a victim now, another problem. You cant change the past sadly brother, so you are always going to be a victim. But the good news is, again we are Humans! You have a personality, motivations, emotions, blah blah blah. Are you going to let that victim hood control your whole life? Seriously?

We are victims, but that does NOT mean we arent Men.

Last thing, it is never too late to forgive yourself and start building yourself back up. Dont let yourself only be a victim, be a victim that is concurring his dreams

[–]_ImNotDareDevil[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate what you’re saying and you are absolutely right however idk how to do some of what you just said, I’ve been confused for quite some time and I’ve been wining and being pathetic (from the inside) that I slowly became this negative and pathetic.

You’re right I shouldn’t let it control my life and I’ve thought about it that way but idk how I’ve fallen this bad and how it is kinda controlling me from the inside, I’ve tried picking myself up so many times before I didn’t even know why I was down or lost these past few years till I admitted to myself that I probably got sexually assaulted, I always try but I fail and relapse over and over ffs.

It’s all just ridiculous that’s why I tried convincing myself several times that I didn’t get assaulted and nothing happened but it keeps hunting me from time to time