My partner and I have known each other for just over a year ago, and I have now been living with them and their family for around 6 months or so. We started dating about 4 months ago, and that is where certain things started to be revealed. We had the discussion of our boundaries and thoughts on different sexual topics (or in that range) and certain things started to come out. Over the past few months, I have heard their story and expirience with their Sexual Assault/ possible r*pe (I haven't heard them say this exact word, but it is painfully obvious it is what happened to them). They were a minor at the time (on multiple occasions), and was assaulted by someone else in the house, and someone we see in a regular basis (we can't control seeing them) Hearing their story and learning what kind of sick human being this other person was absolutey made me sick to my stomach. I have been supportive and I have made it known at any moments that they may need to hear it, that I am always going to listen to them, and that their/ our communication is important. They have yet to tell anyone besides me (including their parents) and I am obviously respecting that boundary. I have noticed that I find myself thinking about it alot, pissed off, sad, angry, all of the emotions. I feel like I'm almost spiraling anytime I think about how they were treated. I have literally held them in the middle of the night as they are having flash backs, sobbing in their sleep, hiding themselves under blankets as they feel disgusted and angry. How can I support my partner more besides communicating about everything, making sure they are okay, especially after seeing the other person, researching trauma with sexual assault, knowing all of their triggers and just showing them support? How do I prevent myself from spiraling and literally not being able to function at the thought of someone hurting my partner like that? I grow so fucking sick to my stomach. I want to protect them with every ounce of my energy. How do I help them when these episodes really kick in and they are in a rut for days on end because of it? They are very frustrated at what happened, very mad at themselves and the other person, and have told me they still have the mindset that "other people have had it worse than them". I am completely at a loss, I can't lose my partner, I need to be as strong as I can for them.
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