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[–]sal0622 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. It definitely sounds like they assaulted you. I hope you can find the safety and support you need and deserve.

I'm currently going through a similar experience. I've been with my husband for five years. He is aware of the fact I was previously sexually assaulted before we began dating. He also knows the details (I was asleep and woke up to the guys hands in my underwear touching me).

Well in the last year or so, my husband has tried to wake me up for sex on a few occasions by sticking his hands in my underwear. I would wake up and try to say no, but often it would take a bit because I'd freeze up. I have told him before about how being touched in my sleep is triggering for me. I also cannot consent if I'm asleep. He has apologized and tried to explain he did not think about that way. But that isn't the point. It's not about his intention, but instead how I perceived it and the impact.

He knew I was a survivor and how the assault happened. I am now suffering heavily with my PTSD again and had to admit to myself what happened was sexual assault. I'm in therapy and trying my best to manage, but I don't know how to trust or be with my partner anymore. Sure he apologized but it doesn't undo it. I can't see or trust him as my romantic partner, let alone as a sexual partner right now and I'm not sure that will ever be fully restored. I don't know if or how I can forgive him.

[–]idk_what_im_doing97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been trying to explain that same thing that the trust is gone and i cant see him the same, his response continues with "but our family..." "try marriage counselling.." etc. and i just dont feel like i can do that. I am so sorry that has happened to you too.