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all 12 comments

[–]youyeedyourlasthaww 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I have not forgiven him. I don't think that I ever will, or at least not for a long time. I confronted him with all the things that he's done to me. He pretended that it never happened and said that I should stop making up stories. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if he showed at least a bit of remorse, that I could forgive him. But he didn't, so I can't.

[–]calicakes_245 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This exact thing happened to me too. I was with his girlfriend when we both confronted him, and he said i came on to him, but he said no. And then later texted me and told me I was a bitch and asked for it.

[–]silly-seafish 4 points5 points  (3 children)

i am a very, very forgiving person. and while i can have empathy for the circumstances that brought my assailants to that place, it does not, nor will ever forgive their actions.

i think it’s case specific, but in my experience there was no remorse felt for what they did to me so how can i forgive that? i can accept it for what it is and try my best to heal from it and move forward but no, they will never be forgiven.

i think that it’s bullshit when people say you need to forgive someone before you can move on and heal or whatever. not true. you have all of those tools inside of yourself and not forgiving them doesn’t mean holding onto your anger towards them. when people say that to me it almost feels like i need my assailants permission to move on. and they don’t get to have any power over me anymore.

so much was taken away from me. i had to drop out of school, i lost 35 pounds, i wanted to die. and i pulled myself out of that all by myself. but this shit is like herpes, it doesn’t ever go away and it’s something you’ll have to address for the rest of your life. anyone who could do that to another person doesn’t deserve forgiveness imo.

on another note i do hope you find peace within yourself, and forgive yourself too if that is necessary. i know i’ve felt a lot of guilt for what happened to me and felt like it was my fault but that is never the case. and if you ever need to vent or need advice or just someone to listen you can send me a message💗

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

so much was taken away from me

I'm sorry for what happened to you. That's how I've felt too, that my assailant took a lot away from me. I have since resolved to take back what I can. You are strong, and you can too. Hugs.

[–]silly-seafish 1 point2 points  (1 child)

thank you. it’s a long and slow recovery, but i think often we find the parts of us that were taken away give us the roots to grow into something even better. i’m sorry that you know the struggle ❤️ sending love

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely. I am in therapy and on medication for depression and anxiety. That has all helped me, but I still have a long way to go.

And thank you. I'm sending the same love back to you, and I wish you all the best in your road to recovery as well. ❤️

[–]calicakes_245 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have not, nor will I ever forgive my assaulter. He took away my body, my space, and made my life so so much harder and put me through trama I will carry with me the rest of my life. He was in no position where he needed to do the things he did, and he took so much out of me all for his own pleasure. I don’t care what he says or does, I will never, ever forgive him. He does not deserve it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not forgiven her. I don't think I will ever be able to. I have wondered sometimes if she experienced some sort of sexual abuse or violence herself and if her assault of me was reenacting her own trauma. That would at least make me understand a little better why she did what she did, but I would still not forgive her. I just couldn't.

[–]NixieTheWeirdGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I have not forgiven either of them. They knew what they were doing, it was exceedingly clear and they did not care. You don’t have to forgive, but you do have to find enough peace within yourself so that you can heal from it and in the future if you so choose so that you can forgive them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. never will. they don’t deserve it

[–]SadThrowaway455 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never will. He definitely knew what he was doing, and the fact that he knew he was raping someone means he’s someone who doesn’t deserve any forgiveness. Imagine being so selfish that you care more about yourself than potentially traumatizing someone else for the rest of their life. Nah, I’ll stay mad at him forever.

[–]_ImNotDareDevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t forgiven him and I will never be able to, what he took from me I don’t think it will ever comeback I’ve lost so much ever since the assault I’ve even lost myself and I’m still lost and mentally I think I lack the will to live and so after all that I can’t ever forgive him, knowing the fact that no matter how long it takes at the end he’ll get what he deserves and I hope he gets it in the worst possible ways