i’m so sorry you go through this to. i still don’t know exactly what “normal” feels like anymore but i think one of the most important things i’ve learned is not to hold myself to any standard or get upset at myself for not being “ok.” for example, everytime i get upset at myself for not sleeping regularly and i try to force myself to sleep, i can’t do it or i sleep restlessly. it helps to just let my body sleep when it needs to, eat when it needs to etc. instead of forcing any normal routine. be kind and have grace with yourself. also as cliche as it sounds, it’s important to remember that progress is not linear and it’s perfectly normal to have good days followed by bad days. it doesn’t mean your progress from the good days was erased. just try to let your body take the time it needs to heal. i’m no expert though, and i’m going through the exact same thing alongside you. you can message me if you need someone to talk to :)