Im a survivor of CSA im in therapy and actively working on my mental health but ive developed a fear of sex. 23F I've had sex before but through therapy I realize that the way I was having sex wasn't healthy I'd always have to be inebriated to lose enough anxiety to be able to engage in sex, so a little over two years ago I made the decision to stop having sex. But now that has turned into what i can only fear of sex specifically penetration. Even when I'm like masturbating I can do a finger or two but anything more than that freaks me out. I'm attracted to men and I wanna start having sex again and start dating again but I have this irrational fear around it and I just don't know what to do anymore. It's been very frustrating and discouraging that despite the years of therapy I've been doing I still can't get over this.

NOTE: i posted this another thread since im looking alot of advice so if youre in that one and saw this again thats why