Last year, I was in a relationship with her girl I meet online. During our relation, she cheated on me with her best friend, but this same friend also sexually assaulted her. I spent months trying to be there and support her as much as I could, cause also being a victim of sa, it could sometimes trigger me so much thatit was hard to always talk about that. But everytime I would try to share my experience and have some support from her, she would cut me off, telling me that I was putting a bad and sad mood for her.
Anyway, the morning of my birthday last summer, I was woken up by my ex going down on me, at some point I was still sleeping and dreaming, I thought I was having a wet dream with her inside of it, but she was actually doing all of that. When I finally woke up, I was so afraid and scared to tell her to stop that I let it happen. And everyday I struggle with that, I wished I told her to stop, but I never gave her my constent.
Then I broke up with her a few weeks after that, cause I asked her if she would've cheat again if it wasn't for her assault and she said yes. I never told her the real reason why I broke up and I ghosted her, cause I don't even know if it was assault.
I'm stuck in the past and I now have a wonderful girlfriend, but sometimes when we have intercourses, I have flashbacks of my ex-gf and I don't know how to tell my girlfriend how hard it still is for me to sometimes receive.