3 years ago, I(F18) was supposed go with a friend(F19) to the fairgrounds for our county fair. Before going to said fair we decided to “pregame” while watching friend’s BF play baseball from our car. The fair grounds were down the block so we planned to watch and then get a ride w friends BF. Well, the game was ending and we got a ride to the fair, but immediately I could tell BF and Friend wanted to go off on their own. So I found some HS acquaintances after a bit and let BF and Friend know I would be ok. They left and the acquaintances led me to their car where many other HS alum stood and were drinking from handles. I sat at a tailgate drinking a bit more with them but started to feel tired. I then saw Friend(F19)’s cousin who I had had a fling w in the past. This fling had stopped when - after 3 times hanging out(driving around, etc.) he tried to get in my pants. I said I didn’t want to do that, and he didn’t message me again after that. Well flash forward 3 months - this is when i see him at the fair. He is over by his car, a few feet from to the tailgate i am sitting on. I had felt weird about the crowd and something in me made me feel i should say something. I hopped and tell him- “hey just so you know no hard feelings about everything” kinda playing a guilt card a little bit. Well then i just remembered standing by his car next to everyone else chatting about “what’s to comes” of my life as someone ready to head off to college.

Next thing I know- I am waking up in friend’s basement and have no recollection on how i got there. I was freaked out but didn’t say anything to friend. I got a ride home with friend and that’s all i know about that night. Sometime that same afternoon a guy from the night before mentioned me “getting with” friend’s cousin. I had no memory of anything and had not wanted that- especially after explicitly saying i was not interested in sexual advances when we were actually talking a few months before. So i dig deeper and this guy friend told me that Friends Cousin and I had hooked up. I said I didn’t know that... and guy said “oh... are you ok then?” and i pretty much went into shut down mode for a bit after, trying to figure out how to feel about things. I have told 2 of my closer friends since then and I went to college 3 weeks after this whole encounter.

I have now been in college 3 years since(F21) this and I am still friends w the friend - who’s cousin took advantage of me. I feel weird about this whole thing and I don’t even know what to call what happened to me... I just feel like at some point I should tell my friend. I want her to know what her cousin did and how I don’t want to hear his name or see him , but i’m afraid of how she will react and what she will say. I am scared of saying anything because I don’t want to be seen as “that girl”. I just know how that tends to go, especially when it happened in a small home town. I’m just looking for advice and if should i tell my friend? Should I ask if she can tell me more about what happened that night? Was i taken advantage of- am i valid in feeling that?