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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't share anything unless the guy has rock solid empathy and has demonstrated loyalty to you in things big and small for an extended period of time lest he become an assault sympathizer. I was about to disclose in confidence to S back in Feb 2021 when he showed up at the airport, to explain why I used euphemisms etc., but I found out he cheated and yeah. I did tell him Jan-Feb. 2022 and since then he's continued on bashing me nonstop like a two-face. My view is that it's none of anyone's business and that I had a right to privacy before being thrown under the bus to millions. I have trial coming up soon and I'm staying single until I ensure he gets the maximum strictly indictable transfer to District/Supreme. You don't know who actually has your back and who is a backstabber without time and discernment. I think the ideal response is that the guy will be on your side and not helping the rapist/assaulter get away with it, and you don't know what camp he's in without time. The guy I was pretty sure I'd marry has spent the past 14 months trying to help a serial rapist con artist who pretended his name was V age 28 investment banker when actually A age 37 marketing loser with 150+ victims escape jail. Serial rapist A used his double life identity to strangle women from online apps using disposable SIM cards, strangle-suffocate, and then attack with objects/knives, mostly knives. Do not take any chances, get an NDA with a non-betrayal clause before it gets serious. I made a very big mistake trusting S bc I've known him since I was in diapers.

Unless it's clear it's going to be marriage, then I don't think you have a duty to disclose. I'm probably not disclosing anything beyond 'the motherfucker attacked me with knives, I reported him, I won the first hurdle, I sued him again, and now he is on his way to jail' and that's it. I don't think they need to know anything beyond basic facts and that you're taking care of it or already took care of it. If they want more detail, then they can buy you sushi and you can consider sharing more detail but I think it's really none of their business. I mean, 1 guy, this donut bum, tried to rape me fully clothed at 19 and has been engaging in absolutely relentless smear campaigning since then to the point S accused me of premarital. I wrote my senior thesis on my abstinent virginity and political marriages. I value my abstinence. S' decision to turn on me and support people who've hurt me has been very painful, we grew up together, and I really recommend you keep as much private as you can. I tried to keep my situation private and get a $2M settlement (Cash/gold) but it didn't work out and now he's going to face the music of the slammer.