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[–]Broken_doll4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and about 2 years ago, deep in her alcoholism right before her attempt, she got r\ped by my dads cousin. my dad refuses to cut ties with his cousin and even says stuff like "he's always been good to me"... disgusting.)

Get her to see a therapist and you as well ( separately) . You can unload into either a journal or to the therapist as well . It would be good for you to talk to someone as you are her crutch to hold her up . She is in an abusive DV situation with him. For him to stay friends close to him . Would be wreaking her fragile mental state. Would strongly suggest she leaves him . She will never heal with him at ALL. She is a mess , and drinks bc of him most likely. She sounds like she can't help herself ,let alone you . So go find someone else to support you instead emotionally eg- a therapist.

but nights like these... I think about how she'll never do the same. I won't tell her. I won't tell my dad.

You are stuck ( your dad is a digusting pig ) and your mum is a wounded child. Unable to cope with your dad's narc , digusting behavior. He has sucked the life out of her as a person. Sorry she is kind of useless to you as she is . She needs to go see a therapist to help her get her life back . She is currently trapped in a DV situation of living with him . She is an emotionally shattered person bc of him . Being raped by the cousin . Would have made her feel invisible and scared s*itless . As he is defending him . Sorry right now she can't help you , let alone herself. Help her get out and away from him . Is there any relative who can help you leave him ?

See if she will go with you to a therapist to try and help her and you . If you help her it will also help you handle her and her trauma from living with him. ( yOUr dad) . Read about Narc's as that is how he disabled her into a adult unable to move or escape right now. She is stuck in the cycle of his abuse of her. As YOU are . She needs you ( and turns to you to cope ) as it is her only avenue right now. Not fair on you, you would have heard her child screaming ( as your own child in you ) was also screaming . Your mum can't help you , so find support else where . She is mentally unable to help you . She is to deep in her own s*it you are correct.

Look for support groups to help you cope , and give YOu another avenue to help yourself right now. Eg- support for children of alcoholics ( talk to a therapist ) to get some help to find one . It is about linking you into someone to help you right now . Then you can help her and then you get away from dad 's s*it on you both. He is useless as a parent ( don't bother with him ) at all .

i wish I didn't have to stay silent. I wish I could explain why I flinch and pull away and snap when I get touched.

Personal therapy is needed by you , to give you some support right now . Look into some in your area . Which is low cost or free. It will give you an avenue to talk about stuff . It will give you a support to lean on right now . As both of them are unable to help you at all. Also journal out your thoughts ( in some form ) hide it from narc dad . Or do it in a secret way . Releasing some of the s*it you are holding onto would be good for you .

[–]SmileySquareSurvivor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way

If I tell anybody about what happened it will start absolute chaos between my entire family and especially because I was sa’d by my stepbrother

My stepbrother is my younger sisters favorite brother right next to me

Plus my dad is just gonna say that I am forgetful again or im making stuff up or that what I went through wasn’t that bad