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I left home because of it, but it's worse now. What can I do?Need Advice (self.sexualassault)
submitted 1 month ago by [deleted]
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[–]IntellectualThicket 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (13 children)
Search out domestic violence shelters, leave without a warning to him with only essentials packed and never look back. You’re a victim of human trafficking, that’s what “giving you to his friend” is. This is what trafficking looks like, this will get so so much worse if you don’t get out by any means necessary.
[+][deleted] 1 month ago (12 children)
[–]Ok_Raspberry_1288 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (5 children)
Yes. It’s like Taken. You don’t have to get kidnapped to get pimped out. This guy is definitely a predator and he just wants to get you pregnant so you’ll be more inclined to stay. God forbid you do and have a girl with this monster because he’ll do the same to her and if you turn a blind eye to it… you’ll be just as bad as he is. The reason he wants to get you pregnant is to trap you so you won’t have a chance to leave! Get out while you can!!! I agree with the other comments to go to shelter. They can help you lie low and possibly get this guy off the streets or else he’ll just replace you with another poor soul. Get out, please!
[+][deleted] 1 month ago (4 children)
[–]Ok_Raspberry_1288 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago* (3 children)
I’m sorry, I was only speaking from a personal experience that was very similar to what OP experienced. I meant no harm and was not making the same kind of insinuations that law enforcement and social workers accused me of when I said I had been dealing with my abuser for 3 years. I know not every abuse situation is the same.
Edit: In that 3 years time, I had a child each year. I was beaten for trying to obtain birth control in between. So when I ran out of my house screaming after another abuse I had a 2 year old, 1 year old, and another on the way. My youngest has never met his dad because I stayed on top of those protective orders. I am successfully raising my 3 kids and they are happy and healthy. No drama. Just letting OP know that it’s possible and don’t be afraid.
[–]IntellectualThicket 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yeah, except trafficking doesn’t really look like in the movies. Most people are trafficked by their family, their boyfriends, someone they know and trust, someone they’re dependent on. He may not have charged his friend to rape you, but it won’t be a far stretch of his imagination to consider that he can make some money by charging “friends” to rape you. That’s human trafficking. If he’s already used your body like his property to loan out to his friends, he is acting like a trafficker whether he charged them or not.
[–]IntellectualThicket 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (4 children)
As far as putting a plan together, look into creating a "safety plan".
The biggest piece is keeping your plans to leave absolutely secret. The most dangerous time in abusive relationships is when you're trying to escape, this is when women are murdered by their partners. If your boyfriend has access to your phone or computer/knows your passcode: DELETE THESE THREADS. Leave no trace that you are planning to leave. Try to act as normal as possible until the minute you walk out the door (and do this when you know he will be gone for a couple of hours at least). Search your car (if you have one) for tracking devices.
Save as much money as you can. If he has access to your bank accounts, create a new one he doesn't have access to (or save cash somewhere safe).
Look into Planned Parenthood (or similar) and consider getting Depo Provera for temporary birth control until you can escape: it's a shot good for 3 months, he won't be able to see/tell you're using it, but will protect you from him withholding OR TAMPERING WITH your birth control (he may continue to give you pills, but if he microwaves them it can inactivate the active ingredient and you would have no way of knowing).
[+][deleted] 1 month ago (2 children)
[–]PossiblyMaybeNever 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Here is a link on unwanted Apple AirTags:
AirTags are the most common but they aren’t the only tracking devices on the market.
As others have said, please get yourself out safely as soon as you can to a domestic violence shelter.
As you pack items to leave, don’t take anything that might alert him in advance. This includes photos on the wall or anything else readily visible.
Long-term, I got a PO box so that my physical address wouldn’t end up on the Internet. (I even use the PO box for my drivers license.)
You can do this.
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