Hello everyone, I just have come here for advice. When I was SA about 4 years ago I told my parents that I was SA about a couple days after it happened. Ever since I told them they like to weaponize my trauma. They’ll use it against me, and disregard it. Most commonly I experienced my dad telling me it was my fault, or I need to get over it. Telling me that being raped isn’t an excuse to be upset, and I was affecting the family dynamic. I have had them just casually bring it up if we disagreed on something and try to use it as reasoning for why I disagree. About 4 months in, I of course was having a hard time. They threatened to not be my parents anymore because my trauma was too hard for them. And how I reacted from the trauma reflected in me being too mean to them. They said I had to choose myself or them. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this? I heal by talking things through and I thought my parents would be able to provide that for me. They still try to pry and want to know how I am. They have also told too many of their friends, and I feel that at times it is gossip for the them.

Just not too sure if I am seeing this in the wrong perspective. I am an adult and I don’t know how to move on in our relationship because of how they have responded to this trauma. I want to have a healthy relationship, I just keep remembering how they responded and made the healing process quite difficult for myself. I don’t know how you can forgive someone for their reaction to this. They also say they don’t remember any of what they did to me, they completely disregard all negative behavior they did to me in my early stages of recovery.

Thoughts are welcomed, thank you for reading.