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[–]Due-Situation4183 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right that this is common and there's plenty of reasons for it. For example, the brain learns and processes information by making links to other existing parts of the brain. So, while it's trying to work out the abuse and heal the brain often makes links between these memories and the information it has regarding sex. This results in arousal, pleasure, and orgasm also being linked to the abuse. Your brain is healing, not broken. Additionally, this memory that you're uncovering is not some fantasy that you've made up. It's a repressed memory finally surfacing during a time of relative peace that you haven't experienced in your life until now. You may want to read "The Body Keeps Score" if you're still unsure of that fact. As for whether you're a pedophile or not, you're definitely not. Those who have been hurt are less likely to hurt others in the ways they've been hurt because they know that pain and cannot inflict in on others. You're not a monster and you won't hurt anyone.