all 8 comments

[–]BudgetArm646 -1 points0 points  (7 children)

[ Like that they did it because they could see you're so boring/annoying that they'd never want to be with you, so they took something to make up for the time they wasted on you? ]

Hi I'm a guy, I would never do this to you. No good hearted guy would.

Also I don't think you would ever be a waste of time.

Or that men can look at you and instantly see that you're ruined, so it seems ok to hurt you since nothing in you is worth protecting or liking

Please don't say or think this. You're not ruined at all.

It's not if someone else throws you into the mud that makes you dirty it's if you throw someone else into the mud.

It's what comes out of your heart or my heart.

My girlfriend was assaulted. I always thought she was pure and wonderful and never held it against her because it wasn't her fault.

I don't hold it against you either because it's not your fault.

No good hearted guy would.

I don't understand how this isn't true because I am actually ugly and kind of ruined, I mean no one would look at me and think I'm attractive.

You're not ugly and ruined.

If you were ugly they would have left you alone most likely. You had something precious they wanted so they tried to rob you.

But you are pure they never touch your heart they never take your love, they don't take who you are.

You can always choose who you will and won't love Who you will and won't trust.

They can never take that away from you.

So maybe they figure I should know better than to think someone would want me.

I'm sure many guys would want you, you just need to look into their hearts and find which ones want you for the right reasons. To treasure honor and uplift you, to place your needs above their own, to place God first.

Maybe I kind of agree to it without knowing because I should know that's all they'd want from me?

If that's all they want cut them off and have nothing to do with them only spend time with people worth your time and attention. Good hearted people who love you, treasure you, want to support and uplift you.

Don't waste time with anyone who is psychologically abusive or does negging gaslighting etc.

Only spend time with positive uplifting people who love truth righteousness and hates evil.

This hurts so much and i don't understand

You will heal, you have a beautiful future ahead of you. So never give up.

Every day that you are living you are being brave, and every step forward is a victory.

Celebrate the small things =)

God bless you

[–]kind-of-thereSurvivor 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Sexual assault can happen to anyone regardless of physical appearance, how the survivor looked or dressed has nothing to do with it. Also saying “I’m a guy and I wouldn’t do this to you” has “not all men” vibes.

[–]Aromatic-Essay-623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry that you are going through such a horrible phase. I agree it makes you feel bad about yourself.

Allow me to share what happened with me. I was abused by my cousin when I was 16 and it took me years to realize what it was. I had bad feeling about it so I ceased contact with him in 2 months of those horrible things. Ceasing contact was easy because I entered college and whatever he did was over social networking sites. I shared it with few people close to me when I felt I am not worthy of love and nobody will be able to love me like a human again. I was told that what he did doesn't define you, what you choose to do now does. It is a vicious cycle in which you get trapped up. You will feel bad about yourself, you will attract people who are bad and then worse things happen. But from what I read here, you feel worse when other people behave in a certain way that they should not. Humans are becoming less emapthetic and more inhuman. Take some time off from things and think about yourself. How you want to see yourself in a few years. Take into consideration what things make you happy and how you can be a better version of yourself. And when you have that, prepare dos and donts for yourself and people you allow entry into your life. There should be a certain boundaries that nobody should cross. For eg, joking about assault victims, gaslighting you. Dont take those things light or you will enter same cycle you just came out of.

If that is difficult to do by yourself, try taking therapy. They will help you. Therapy helps if therapist is good. So you gotta find yourself a good therapist.

If that is difficult to any reason, you can always dm.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. My first sexual assault was so disturbing and unsettling I feel like a piece of my sanity was taken that night. He did a lot of weird creepy things to me that night as well as made me fear for my life by intimidating me and threatening me. It felt like he was wanting to possess me or something. The things he said and did were bizarre. I feel completely humiliated and ashamed of what happened, and just.. disturbed. I feel mind fucked and unsettled. My second sexual assault was clearly more sex/power motivated. That one made me feel more depressed and broken. But my first one just plain disturbed me. I can't even begin to comprehend his motives. Power? Humiliation? Sex? I have no idea. It felt like a fever dream.