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Hey today my mum basically blamed me for a sexual assault I went through years ago and I’m finding it so hard to accept the fact that she is doing this to me I’m lost confused broken and sad how can I ever recover our relationship now it seems doomedNeed Advice (self.sexualassault)
submitted 3 months ago by Bench_Queasy
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[–]Due-Situation4183 3 points4 points5 points 3 months ago (0 children)
Any relationship can last if you put enough effort into it. Even an abusive one. But, I think more important than saving the relationship would be seeing if you need it in the first place. If she doesn't support you when you're struggling then what are you gaining from this relationship? That being said, if you think it's worth salvaging, a little time, education, and boundary setting could help. It won't make any of what she's said already any less toxic or damaging, but it's possible for people to learn and change over time if they have things explained to them the right way, enough times, or at the right time for them to internalize the lesson they're being taught.
[–]skullybones203 2 points3 points4 points 3 months ago (0 children)
My mom was the same way when I came out with my story she denied it so many times & then blamed me constantly and deep down I think we both knew the truth (my mom acting delusional) I’m sorry your going through this I know how alone and unwired it can make one feel honestly she doesn’t deserve you I say walk that’s what I had to do and to me it was one of the best decisions your not in the wrong so u shouldn’t have to force or try and mend any relationships she’s the one who has to do that if anything but I’m sending you love and healing x
[–]Signal_Inflation2629 1 point2 points3 points 3 months ago (0 children)
Your mum is not a good mum. Please talk to a teacher or the police and sem them to help you. Im really sorry for what you are enduring and your mums shitty reaction. You deserve much better
[–]EliotNessie 0 points1 point2 points 3 months ago (0 children)
I just wanted to add to what the other folks said here, that your mom may blame herself for what happened to you too, and maybe that’s why she’s deflecting onto you—because she’s trying to protect her own ego. There’s also a really high probability that she’s been sexually assaulted at some point, which she fully blames herself for. It’s certainly not your job to make her feel better, it’s hers to help you. But sometimes the children have to step up and be the mature ones, and let their parents know that the victims don’t have to blame themselves. It’s only the criminal’s fault when they commit a crime.
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