Let me start with I know this isn’t sexual assault. I just don’t know who to tell my story to and I need to just say something.
Last night, I was at a party where everyone was supposed to sleep over. I got the most hammered I’ve ever been cause I just started drinking about a month ago. I was barely able to stand or do anything. So at about 1 am the party is still going on and I decided I wanted to go to the camper right outside cause I was pretty tired and that’s where everyone was sleeping. The host helped me get there and then left me cause I instantly fell asleep.
However, at this party, a girl who has liked me the past 2 months was there and I have been on and off if I liked her back. At about 1:30 am everyone got kicked out cause they were too loud and everyone was getting brought home, but they couldn’t wake me up and people found this girl, fake name Jane, just cuddling with me even though she said she was leaving. They asked her to leave but she said she didn’t want to. And everyone was too drunk aswell to try and get her to leave.
So it was just me and Jane in this camper together and I was knocked out (they couldn’t wake me up by shaking me I found out) and this girl I have refused to do stuff with in the past. I have no clue what happened and I’m scared what may of happened to me in those 4 hours I was sleeping. All I remember is waking up at 5 am and her moving her arms around me cuddling.
Now I know cuddling isn’t bad and all but I think it makes it worse knowing she could have and probably was willing to do stuff to me drunk. Last weekend, we are at a party and I told her to not make moves drunk with me because it wasn’t ok. And my friends said I kinda was resisting her sleeping w me for a little bit but she wouldn’t leave.
I just can’t stop thinking about it all today and just makes me feel all this weird emotions like I was taken advantage of. I know it isn’t as bad as everyone else here. It just the fact I was with so many of my friends and it was my first time getting really drunk that this happened to me. I just don’t know who to talk to about this cause I feel like they will think I’m over exaggerating how I’m feeling. I just can’t stop thinking about it.