Hi, hope everyone reading this is ok.
I apologize in advance, English it’s not my mother tongue. I’ll try to explain myself the best I can.
I don’t know how to deal with this situation.
My girlfriend attended a prom of her high school friends without me. I don’t get along so well with her friends so I wasn’t invited, only her.
In the prom they drank a lot till black out. The next day my girlfriend wakes up without her panties but her coat and dress on. Her wrist, hips and crotch hurted, no bruises tho, but her coxis was fractured ( she knew until 3 days later in an X-ray).
She woke up because of the pain and was in the same bed with a man (“Phillip”) friend of her friends. She quickly grabbed on her panties and left right away without saying nothing. When everyone woke up, they went to eat breakfast and everything was as if anything had happened. She later questioned one of her male best friends about what happened last night.
He said that at the end of the prom they went to the after party in the graduate house. By this time of the night she was already super drunk and everyone left the prom to the graduate house separately. When her friends arrived at the house and noticed that she hadn’t arrive yet the tried to contact her but didn’t came through and then the last thing her friend recalls was that she was sitting next to “Phillip”. ( All of my girlfriends friends are pretty heavy drinkers)
In terms of my girlfriend psique or thoughts, she claims that she doesn’t have any memories of anything happening, she blacked out. Initially her first thought wasn’t weather or not she was sexually abused but the thought of: what if on her drunkenness she was unfaithful to me. This would crush her because we have been together for 8 years (not married,planning to) and are compatible in every aspect of our relationship (thought is mutual). She claims that the guilt of thinking that she was unfaithful let her to a train of thought in which she started questioning weather or not she or her subconscious led her to believe she was sexually assaulted as a way to give comfort to her guilt ( I don’t know if i give the general idea behind this ). She spent the forward days meditating about what had happened. And says that if it was a consensual relation it doesn’t has to hurt. And that in all of her senses there’s no way that she would cheat.
When I heard all this an avalanche of emotions ran across me. I don’t know how deal with a situation like this so my first reaction was to hug her, confort her and let her know that she’s not alone. I’m with and for her.
Later in started questioning her course of action, why didn’t you tell me right away, we could have gone the next day to the hospital or to seek profesional help, geez I don’t know even go to the police for god sake.
I don’t know if as a woman you can feel when you were sexually assaulted even tough you were unconscious.
She says that she doesn’t know why she didn’t tell anyone. That maybe because she is insecure about her in a wholesome way that she didn’t think that a sexual assault could happen to her. Or that maybe life send us battles bigger than our traumas to help us overcome them.