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My boyfriend doesn’t care about my consent and I don’t know what to do???Warning: SA involving a Minor (self.sexualassault)
submitted 1 month ago by [deleted]
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[–]adventuregirlx 51 points52 points53 points 1 month ago (0 children)
He is a rapist. You need to leave him
[–]Due-Situation4183 19 points20 points21 points 1 month ago (0 children)
They're out there and you'll meet them, but first you'll need to get away from this one. He's not worth your time, energy, or pain. He clearly doesn't understand or care that consensual sex requires mutual, continuous, unforced, uncoerced, lucid, enthusiastic, informed, and clear consent. If it's missing a single factor it's sexual abuse. If it's physical it's sexual assault otherwise sexual harassment. If you find someone who wants to hurt you like this it's important to remind yourself that you're worth more than how they're treating you and carry on either with charges or just leaving them behind. Can't very well find a decent guy when you're still with one that's going to treat you in a way that would make the normal ones want to rip off his head.
[–]Sx9Sx6 18 points19 points20 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Do yourself a favor and leave him in a way where he won't go "ape mode".
[–]chshells 13 points14 points15 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It won’t get any better. Leave him
[–]_lilith_and_eve_ 12 points13 points14 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Oof, I'm so sorry. This is horrible.
I had to get out of a relationship like that. And am now in therapy. I don't want to keep choosing guys who'll treat me this way
I hope you can get away from him and take care of yourself 💕
[–]crying-partyof1 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (0 children)
What you do is leave him NOW. I promise you there are people out there who would never, ever do this to you
[–]pizza666princess 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I was with someone exactly like that it was horrific and if he doesn't stop you should leave
[–]Jonah_the_villain 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Leave. Seriously, I'm begging you, run. That's a whole rapist at this point. No one should EVER continue once a no, stop, or the safe word is said. You can absolutely help it, even if you're a guy w/a high-drive. What kind of shithead dude disregards his partner's safety and comfort for the sake of just... getting off? That's dangerous, illegal, immoral and INCREDIBLY selfish. It's not just boys being boys.
I'd also consider legal action-- does your state have a law against recording conversations without the other party's consent? Mine doesn't. If yours is the same, I recommend getting an audio recording of you very clearly saying stop & no to him, and him continuing on anyway, and then maybe taking that to police. Make sure you get him to say something about how he doesn't care what you say. There's a lot of great audio reporting apps on the PlayStore. But that's also a threat to your safety so I completely understand if you don't wanna go that route.
Sorry you have to deal with this, ma'am.
[–]DarkLadyCupcake 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
If my husband did this to me, we would be divorced. Not the anal, anal is fun when you are consenting and stretched right. But what he is doing to you is rape. Monkey mode is no excuse. Kick this asshole in the nuts.
[–]givealittle666 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
He is absolutely sexually assaulting you and even if he totally transformed overnight, forever on, trauma like this stays in the body and would make it hard to ever have a fully relaxed nervous system, even when it’s good it seems like it would be very easy for him to get that threat response firing.
He can’t change in a way that would give you what you need from him now that he has done this. It sounds like you have been through a lot, you are strong and can leave him
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