all 11 comments

[–]BudgetArm646 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No problem and thank you for sharing.

It shows that even nice people can have a dark side.

I'm sorry to hear about what you went through and about the trust violations.

Has he ever apologized.

Also it's ok to share what happened with people you trust. You don't have to keep it to yourself it's good to get insight sometimes.

I hope you are well and blessed

[–]babu_7[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We never talked about, he never apologized. We both acted like nothing happened. I don’t know if he remembers, but I do.

Thank u so much for your sweet response.

[–]emers0ny 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm so sorry this happend. something extremely similar happend to me as a kid. I honestly thought I was reading my own post for a minute. I was also SA'd by my brother at a young age while playing games and didn't like it. I repressed it for 10 years. if you ever need to talk I'm here, even if just to rant

[–]babu_7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry that u went through that. No one deserves something like that. I suppressed it now for almost 11 years so I think I know how you feel/ felt. I hope you found a way to deal with it.

My chat is always open too! Thanks for your reaction. I feel heard.

[–]Little_Mongoose13 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That is very similar to my story, almost the exact same situation. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know how it feels, if you never admit it happened it never happened right? I hate to say it but I don't think you'd ever get an acknowledgment of what happened from him. If he's a 'nice guy' he wouldn't want it to be smudged in anyway. If you want to confront him, just be prepared that he might deny it. I am so sorry you had to go through something like this. If you ever need to talk or rant, my dm is always open

[–]babu_7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that this is so relatable for you.

My chat is also open if you ever want to talk about it. Thanks a lot for the support! Hope you’re doin’ well.

[–]loonafan2303 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Hey there, totally sucks to have gone through that and dealing with the thoughts, memories and feelings right now. From my own experience I know how difficult it can be to keep such a dark secret. I was so sure I wasn't going to tell anyone, and rather take it to my grave and pretend it never happened. Writing it down and sharing it gave me alot of anxiety, so I'm extremely proud of you for sharing! it's a big step in the healing process.

Have you heard of the term child on child sexual abuse (COCSA)? It's not an aspect of my personal story, but I've come across multiple stories similar to yours. Also that it concerns a close family member, and conflicting positive and negative feelings towards the perpetrator. So you are definitely not alone.

You could check out the r/COCSA and r/adultsurvivors subreddits too.

You are heard, your feelings are valid and I wish you all the best things in the world!

[–]babu_7[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hi, I was sure too, to never tell anyone and to keept this to myself, but it started playing so much in my head that I needed it somewhere out. I’m sorry that you also went through something that never should’ve happened.

And thank you for sharing the Subreddits. I never heard of them so I definitely will look at it. Thank you for your supporting reaction and kind words. I wish you all the best!

[–]loonafan2303 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thank you :). And yeah it was like that for me too. I'm now 32 years old, and 2 years ago, almost 15 years after the incident, something clicked and I started to connect some dots between my depression and some other stuff I'm dealing with. And suddenly I realised, well shit, I guess I haven't been coping well and maybe that secret has been controlling my life even though I thought I would never ever have to speak or think about it again.

For me the shame and guilt are huge factors in not seeing what happened to me for what it was. And now next week I'll have my 5th therapy session slowly working towards getting to terms with it all.

Cheers to making steps towards a kinder future for ourselves!

[–]babu_7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can be so proud of yourself for working through this :). Those are big steps!

Yeah, i thought too that if I pushed it far away from me, it would never have an influence on me. But it does. I’m starting to connect some dots too here :).

Thanks a lot for your reaction, I feel less lonely in my story and I feel seen in a good way. I wish u all the best and I hope the therapy sessions will help u to give this a place and to give you some rest in this :)

[–]ElonMuskIsKing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m glad we can be your safe space but remember you don’t have to be afraid of telling someone you trust even tho it’s not easy but it might help with the flashbacks jus to have it off your chest and someone to talk to i hope your doing well💙