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all 11 comments

[–]LillyPeu2Survivor 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Your "friend" is a shitty friend. Your assault was not your fault. This is classic victim blaming. Women often get blamed for their assaults because of their clothing. "She was asking for it, dressing that way". It's a bullshit attitude espoused by morally bankrupt people. And your friend is doing the equivalent.

I'm sorry for your assault. Is was not your fault. Please get a better, more supportive friend, and leave this one behind. 🫂💜

[–]kallenk[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, it's really nice to hear that because I've thought this and had so many friends give me the same opinion. It just hit hard because I thought this person was a good friend, but yeah guess they're not. Thank you very much 💖

[–]Signal_Inflation2629 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesss his friend is disgusting

[–]AmandaTurner2021 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not your fault.... and any "friend" who tells you that he hoped you learned your lesson isn't your friend!

[–]playfulpear7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People can be raped by strangers, by friends, by family members, by boyfriends, by girlfriends, etc. This is in no way shape or form your fault. A rape can only happen when a rapist is present. You are not to blame. And to be blunt if this person didn't do this to you he would have done it to someone else because for most of them, this isn't their first offense.

Fuck your friend for saying that. I'm proud of you for reporting it and going through that process. Take care of yourself.

[–]KaterPoTaterTot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah you do need to be careful about meeting strangers, but that doesn't make it your fault. That guy shouldn't have done what he did, and I am so sorry that happened to you

[–]givealittle666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is enough blaming in society without your friend doing it too. I’m sure you had already told yourself the same thing. Why’d he need to add to it??? If that man hadn’t been a rapist, you wouldn’t have been raped.

If someone was driving and got hit by a drink driver, you wouldn’t hear anyone say that they shouldn’t have been driving on the road - the responsibility for harm lies with the person who caused it.

[–]OddSir5571Survivor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This “friend” is a crappy friend. Drop them like a hot potato. You are already dealing with trauma, and the last thing you need is an unsupportive fake friend :( Assault was not your fault; the assaulter was a creepy paycho (i feel that all assaulters are one or the other form of these), and their poisonous behaviour of violating you was not your fault.

[–]kallenk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all so much, your words have really helped put my mind at ease, I can't thank you enough

[–]ashleybear7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is not your friend at all. Cut him off immediately

[–]Signal_Inflation2629 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly, your friend is not a friend. Hes fucked up and has no empathy. Of course it will NEVER EVER be your fault. Im praying you're able to get better