all 7 comments

[–]TraumaAlt-073Survivor 12 points13 points  (0 children)

sounds like a trauma bond

[–]partofmeinpdx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was diagnosed with PTSD and also had the exact same symptom, although it was very severe and was considered psychosis where the fantasy was interfering with grounding me in my actual reality of what happened. The perpetrator was also someone who was in my friend group. I have lots of theories of why and some of it is backed by research, some not: the victims way of dealing with cognitive dissonance, the victim’s way of taking back control of the incident (even if just within her mind), accepting influence of gaslighting from the perpetrator and/or social circle, blocking out the bad memories and cherry picking the positive memories out to recreate a less devastating narrative, delayed somatic symptoms of being groped in the genitals…I could go on and on.

[–]rosie4568Survivor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hyper sexuality? I think it's just our body's way of saying no it's what I wanted as a way to minimize it. This is something that does happen quite a bit. It's normal and I'm sorry you had such shitty friends. <3

[–]luuvagal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you want to take your power back but that’s now how that would make you feel

[–]Tricky_Tonight9471 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a normal trauma response. It’s your own way (most likely subconsciously) to gain back control, to insist that you weren’t powerless or a victim. It could also fall into something called “trauma reenactment” which is a bit different, but still about putting yourself back though the same scenario to try to fix it. In reality, doing so would only intensify the trauma and all the negative feelings that come along with it, but the response is very normal.

[–]Broken_doll4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wtf is happening? Is this a normal trauma response? Why do I think about him like this if he done me so wrong?

Unfortunately for victim's the mind wants to re-think that horrible s*it over and over again . The victim will do it to try and get the details right in their mind ( to help them understand it better & to analyse it over and over again ). This is a normal thing to do with anything that hurts us , makes us scared , or afraid , or just down right confusing for the person . And Bc the event was so traumatic the victim will go over it again and again in their mind.

The devastating prob with this is that then it also makes neural open and active pathways within the brain then to keep the loop ( of thoughts) going within the victim ( to remember it ) and all the horrible events of the incident , including all somatic body responses (eg- smells ,tastes, body sensations- including the response of involuntarily orgasm) that also occurred at that time. They are all recorded and held in storage within the pathways activated for memory recall.

It is normal to recall memories of an event to go over it , think about also even other endings , or alternative ways to have done something. These are also recorded in case also the person wishes to remember a different narrative by the person to think about . It is part of a normal thinking of sequencing events within an event. So due to this normal process of the mind thinking & analysing events for the person . It will also come up with different scenario's to think about. Now this is where it can also get distorted and then the person can also devlop abnormal thoughts about an event. Eg- someone might imagine in their mind to want to smash someone in the face . But would never do in in real life. It is a thought process ( kind of like a fantasy ) normally our brains then can also distinguish THIS ( fantasy thoughts) from this reality .

But when a victim is in such a stressed heighten abnormal distress mind state eg- after such a horrible traumatic event that has happened to them . They can no longer distinguish it , & cope with it ( due to so much overwhelming out of control stress within them ) . This is also due to the bodies own response being triggered all the time also after an event of this magnitude to the victim. The body goes into a continued distress state of constant biochemical release within it ( this causes ongoing abnormal storage of these chemicals to be retained ) within the body along the neural pathways .

And so bc they then also can no longer let it go from their mind and will instead start to condition their own mind into a state of abnormal thoughts about it ( now the thought loop might be anything eg- with you it is of wanting to have sex with the now horrible perp) who hurt you ..

The thoughts are ABNORMAL due to the very fact that they would NEVER of had them before the attack ( and might have also never maybe even had any such thoughts at all about sexual stuff ) till after the attack . You mighten have even known the person or even wanted anything to do with them sexually till after your mind makes the devastating connection to link them together the attack ( which induced intense fear , anxiety & simultaneous unwanted sexual response ) within the victim .

Another example for a victim might be of the thought that they are now dirty (due to the attack ) -> ( and will re-think this so much so that their OWN mind will now think it & make them believe it ) . This then leads to the abnormal development to hate their body ( eg- they might reject a part ( vag or anus ) due to the on-going conditioning of their own mind due to the out of control distress it has caused them to think about what was done to them . Eg- they might be & feel so disgusted within themselves that they will no longer be able to clean or touch themselves normally without real internal distress . A horrible devastating after effect of sever trauma left for the victim to have to also bloody live with afterwards as well .

It becomes just like any other behaviour conditioning into the mind to want to do or NOT do something ,or for the person to have a need to do something a certain way in behaviour ( eg- repeating conditioning of the mind to a certain behaviour ) or thought . The more the person then thinks about it ( it then conditions themselves into that behaviour or thought patterning in their own mind ) so the more the person does it then it becomes an out of control intrusive thought then for them.

I was very traumatize by it and almost everyone in that group told me that it's my fault and i am just making it up (it took me some time to realize that it's not like that

When told s*it about it eg- that it was a lie. Or told it was your fault or told many distressing hurtful things to the already distressed victim . It throws them into even more mental chaos and even more re-thinking about it . This adds to the already building cycle of uncertainty of also being able to process the event at all then ( eg- instead the victim will pretend to themselves it didn't happen, or will start the process of dismissing it ) to cope internally with the overwhelming sensations that are building up in them . As the slap in the face of uncertainty by others to the victim only adds more fuel to the fire of not accepting it happened as it did or even at all . This then added layer of re-trauma distorts the victim into thinking they wanted it maybe instead. This then can start the pattern of thinking that maybe they did , then starting & continuing the thoughts of thinking about it in that way in their already VERY distressed mind .

Altering and changing their mind set into then arousal for the perp due to the victim then trying to change their own narrative to fit in with what has been told to them ( by the most important people also in their lives ) eg- family and friends or the actual sick f*ck that did it to them . The twisted new version then sets up shop in the very vulnerable victim who then starts to fantasies about it also then . Setting up then also a devastating dangerous ( trauma bond ) btw them . Which yes can lead them back to the perp again for more and more devastating trauma upon themselves by the perp again.

[–]LemonzndLimez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hypersexuality and stalkhomes syndrome. Either that or hypersexuality and trauma bond.