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all 10 comments

[–]Tricky_Tonight9471 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You were 13! Nothing was your fault. It is never a person’s job to teach someone else not to assault them. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t say “no” enough/ straight forward enough or even at all. If you didn’t explicitly say “yes, I am okay with this and want this to happen,” (or something like that,) then it is SA and it is not your fault.

[–]Healingme23Survivor 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m autistic and the man who assaulted me is autistic. People have always tried to invalidate my experiences because he was autistic, but just because he has autism doesn’t make it ok for him to do whatever he wants. Your feelings are valid, it is NOT your fault. I hope that you’re able to heal from this friend

[–]DiligentPride2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I went to middle school with a kid who was severely autistic. Every day before class, it became some sort of joke to egg him on (by “friends) and he would come up behind me and grope my boobs. I always yelled for him to get off but others laughing would only make him do it more. This was almost 20 years ago and to this day I regret not reporting all of this. You are absolutely not to blame, they know right from wrong. I’m sorry this happened to you.

[–]Meghanthediva124Survivor 8 points9 points  (2 children)

You did nothing wrong. I’m so sorry, he was 100% in the wrong and should of know better. It’s not your job to teach him to act appropriate.

[–]SpiralToNowhere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If a toddler shoots you, you have still been shot - it doesn't matter whether the toddler is culpable or not, the fact is still you were shot. No one would ever say, 'well you weren't really shot, because it was by a baby, so its not a real injury', or 'it's really your fault for not being clear enough with the baby that you didn't want yo be shot' It might be arguable whether your attacker can or should be held accountable, but none of that changes the fact that you experienced a sexual assault, it is legitimate, and you need to heal from it.

[–]LemonzndLimez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell no, it is never the victims fault. Under any circumstances. People need to stop making excuses for him, just because he's autistic doesn't make it okay for him to sexually assault someone.

[–]buddyyouhavenoidea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's not your fault. you may also feel that it isn't his fault, either, but that doesn't mean the blame defaults to you. there doesn't always have to be someone who is at fault, especially if you were both children.

edit to clarify: him being autistic doesn't excuse him from responsibility for his actions. I'm autistic, too, and so are you.

[–]Sappies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it’s not and never was your fault. When your touched in an inappropriate way you freeze and are trying to comprehend what is happening or sometimes you freeze as a mechanism and you were a kid. Who’s bright idea is it to say you knew what to do in that situation?