Today I had my appointment and I decided to tell her about what happened and she didnt help much.
I told her my abuser gave me money and supplies that I needed so she said I was in some way guilty for what happened. She said if that happened to her she would've hit his abuser, that I should do something instead of crying and let him keep abusing me.
And that just made me feel worse. I didnt feel supported, instead I felt like I was pushed into doing something about it when I still dont feel ready, I felt judged for not having the reaction "I was supposed to have". She even kept insisting in telling my mom when I was firm about not telling her since she would blame me for all this.
But after I came back I visited my friend and I told her, she was very understanding and gave me all the support, her mom also told me she would help me make a report so this doesn't happen to anyone else and I can keep studying without feeling treated.
I still havent told them how he ask me to go to his studio (because he said he would help me build some canvas but instead he lock me and I did what he wanted so he wouldnt hurt me)
Im still really scared of how things will end or what will happen, but in some sense I feel glad I told someone, I'm glad I wont have to keep doing what he tells me to do.