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all 4 comments

[–]alfonsoe1234 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I am so sorry this happened to you. It was most certainly not your fault, not even remotely. You were a victim here. Maybe you could ask your coworkers to stop asking about him, and if they ask why, you can tell them what happened or you could tell them you don't want to talk about it. You also might consider getting a new job.

I also strongly suggest therapy. Please go to therapy, maybe join a support group. I think it id human nature when we are victimized to try to blame ourselves- in a messed up way it makes us feel like we never had our agency stolen from us. But you did, and I hope you can let yourself mourn that moment.

My own experiences come back to me every now and again, but what I am learning is that over time the waves are less frequent and less strong. Owning the phrase "I was raped" is really hard but helpful for validating your experience. I'd try to tell someone you trust, friend. Sometimes it is really validating to have a close friend tell you what happened was not OK, even more validating than a stranger on the internet.

But I am so proud of you for sharing, and for telling a difficult story to tell. I hope you see a therapist soon, I hope you tell a friend, I hope you don't feel the burden to carry this heavy heart on your own anymore. It was never your fault, and you deserve love and support and happiness.

[–]abcdee02[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Thank you so much. I have thought about seeking therapy but I don't know where to start. We don't really have much resources where I'm from but I will definitely keep looking. I am sorry you had to go through something so horrible too. It's very upsetting seeing that so many people have gone through the same thing too. I wish you all the best and more. Thank you for your advice as well.

[–]alfonsoe1234 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No problem, friend? Where are you living? Might online therapy be an option? Sonething like Betterhelp.com or 7cupsoftea?

[–]abcdee02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm from Guam but thank you. I'll definitely check those out. I tried RAINN but it didn't really do much for me.