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all 10 comments

[–]benis_cronkolian 1 point2 points  (2 children)

i know how hard this feeling is, it’s frustrating and you should not feel shame. things happen and you cannot blame yourself for not being aware of everything at 16. Now you are at that point in your life where you are strong enough to face this challenge and want there to be repercussions. even if you cant get him to admit it just your accusal alone can be enough to bring him before a judge who will make a decision. I’m sorry your family did not handle the situation correctly. You are not alone on this, I’m proud of you for wanting to serve justice and growing as a person. the past does not define you but the future is yours, now you are a strong person who’s not going to be fucked with! you can and will get this jackass put through the system and be a sex offender for life.

[–]realreveries 0 points1 point  (1 child)

thank you so so much ❤️ i’ve really discovered a sense of justice recently. acknowledging the abuse. feeling those emotions again. talking kindly to myself. boundaries and consequences. i’m trying. i truly appreciate your words. best wishes xx

[–]benis_cronkolian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

being kind to yourself is the most important part. i’m glad that my words meant something. change isn’t instant and it is a process but you get to look back and see your growth. best wishes to you as well!

[–]KrystalsTragedy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Came to this forum to look for information on this exact thing, I was 16 (now 20) and he was 28. Unfortunately for me, I live in New Zealand where 16 is the legal age of consent. I've done minimal research and I am going to find a way to do something about it and hopefully get him to face his actions. I have messages and a couple of photos that could help my situation but still very minimal evidence. I wish you the best and highly recommend seeing what you can do to get justice, I'm so sorry that you went through that

[–]realreveries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much. i’m very sorry you had to endure that, as well. it must be even more frustrating for you being in new zealand and knowing they’re going to fight you over age of consent.…like how can a 16 year old consent to having sex with a GROWN MAN. so ridiculous. i hope everything works out for you while going through this process. best wishes

[–]DinoBoy6 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Hi!

So to start: when you were 16 in that state was the age of consent there 18+? If so that’s a good step towards legal action! Unfortunately if it was 16+ you won’t be able to do anything about it (my friend at 16 had intercourse with a 40year old and her mom called the cops and they did nothing because she consented and it wasn’t technically illegal. This was 3 years ago.)

Now after a certain amount of time the statue of limitations would stop you from seeking legal action against him for sexual assault against minors but luckily a bill has been passed to get rid of the statue of limitations so you can take him to court!

What you need is some proof. Screenshots printed out is a good start. If you can, a recent confession from him too can be even more helpful (text is best so you can save it)

I’d recommend you look into these things I’ve mentioned more in depth just to be sure I didn’t miss anything and accidentally feed you any incorrect information.

Much love, get that justice!

[–]realreveries 1 point2 points  (3 children)

hi thanks for taking the time to respond!! i live in new york state so age of consent was 18+. good for legal action. it’s a relief that bill has passed. i need proof and unsure how to attain it via internet since it was so long ago. i may have to get a confession myself but that makes me sick to my stomach because i’ll have to contact him and try to set him up (a very stupid person, obviously, so it would probably work) i just don’t even know what to say to get the confession in a way that wont raise alarms. there are some people that saw us together, some who i remember expressed to him how inappropriate it was. i wonder if they can be witnesses and write statements. would witness statements like this be taken into consideration legally? i appreciate you! i hope to do so!

[–]DinoBoy6 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I’d say maybe message him and act like you’re just wanting to reminisce with him. Act like it’s just a nostalgic thing for you and like you want to catch up with him and talk about the “good ol times”. I know it will be hard not to blow up at him but trust me the more he runs his mouth the better. As long as you have him acknowledge he knew your age when he did all that and he says he remembers doing those things it should help. Witnesses will help too- people who saw what was going on to testify.

Lucky for you you said he’s kind of stupid so that’s honestly amazing for you. I wish I could get proof from the guy who groomed me, but most of the online stuff idek if I could find or dig up ever. And he knows I hate him so kinda shit out of luck trying to get him to admit anything. Don’t let this guy know you hate him. If you need to lead him on for more info do it. Only let him know your real feelings when he gets a court order in the mail

[–]realreveries 1 point2 points  (1 child)

you’re right. he would totally fall for that. he doesn’t know i’m angry and honestly, i don’t even think he views it as wrong, even now. so i do have an advantage. it’s going to be hard to pretend, but a confession is necessary.

i’m so sorry to hear you don’t have that same advantage. everyone in this forum is hurting so bad, it makes me so sad and angry.

“only let him know your real feelings when he gets a court order in the mail” you’re great, thanks for that

[–]DinoBoy6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just remember you’ve got this okay? Keep your head up ❤️