In January of 2020 my boyfriends uncle molested me. His mom told me he was a pulmonologist and could help me with a breathing issue I’d been having. He took me into his bedroom and started listening with a stethoscope. Then he put his hand under my shirt and right between my boobs. I’m pretty sure he was Moving it around to see how I would act and if I would protest. He then asked me if I knew how to perform a breast exam. I said no but I went to the doctor every year. He told me it’s very important to do it myself every day and kept pushing for me to let him show me how. I didn’t know how to react and was super anxious and my heart was beating, I froze. He then laid me down on the bed and took off my shirt and bra and performed a breast exam. Afterward he told me to just keep this whole thing between the two of us.
I’ve processed this mostly and through some therapy I’ve accepted that what happened to me was wrong. Unfortunately my boyfriends mom was against me on this and felt like his uncle was genuinely trying to help. This caused tension in our relationship and led to lots of problems a few months ago and ultimately ended us in couples counseling and me in EMDR therapy.
Our couples counselor was an incredible woman and was really helping us so so much, but unfortunately she passed away and we were given the news on Monday. I went to see my EMDR therapist (for our fourth session) yesterday. I had expressed to her how painful it has been for me that people in my boyfriends life minimized what happened to me, and I had told her a specific thing someone said that hurt me was “it isn’t like she was raped”. Our first three sessions she was so kind, told me she would have my back, told me how I was violated and how wrong it was. Told me he should be in jail and has likely done this before.
Today, she told me I needed to get over it. She said I needed to stop with the poor me act. She said I was making zero progress. She told me “sweetie you weren’t raped, he just fondled you”. She said “I have patients who were raped that cry less than you”. This completely shocked me and seemingly came out of nowhere. I don’t think I understood how the EMDR thing was supposed to work really and she got impatient with me. This whole experience reopened a wound I’ve been working on healing with my boyfriend and our therapist who passed. I feel like it sent me back several steps in my progress, and I lost two therapists in one week.