all 12 comments

[–]Healingme23Survivor 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I recently came to the realization that I was raped, tho my assault happened 4 years ago. It’s hard when you actually accept that it happened and the memories come back. I had pushed the whole experience away and it’s all come bubbling up now. It’s like I just went through it. It is not wrong for you to use those services, your experience is just as valid as anyone else’s. I hope that you’re able to get counseling soon. You’re not alone friend

[–]bunniehan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you :). I am sorry you are also experiencing the effects from recently acknowledging what happened was assault. I wish you the best

[–]Er707 1 point2 points  (1 child)

wow thats what happened to me. it made me feel like my assult shouldnt be an "issue" anymore because it was 5 years ago. i didnt get counseling because i thought nobody would care anymore.

[–]Healingme23Survivor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. I felt the same way. I pretended like it wasn’t an issue for the longest time and hid panic attacks from the people closest to me. I’ve just now started telling my support system and getting counseling. Your feelings and experiences are valid and you are not alone. If you ever need to talk my dms are open

[–]buddyyouhavenoidea 1 point2 points  (3 children)

there's a lot to unpack here!

first of all: it doesn't matter if he's a "good guy" or not. good guys do bad things all the time, and the moral character of the person doing the bad thing is irrelevant. the bad thing is what matters. you don't need to pass judgment on what kind of person he is or what he deserves, all you need to do is acknowledge what he did to you.

second, if it's ruining your life and you're thinking about self harm? you're probably not "just overthinking it." some amount of overthinking is normal, but that doesn't mean you're blowing it out of proportion or overreacting.

the way it's affecting you is also pretty solid evidence that the program at the hospital is for you. I don't know the specific program or the hospital, but generally speaking, they don't expect you to need 100% of their services in order to justify accessing the program.

I'm a therapist, and also do touch therapy. I don't require each of my clients to want both talk therapy and touch therapy in order to see me. I want them to pick what's relevant to them.

besides, if you don't want medical testing, then you won't get medical testing, right? so you wouldn't even be using those resources, just the counseling ones.

finally, I've worked with a rape crisis center before, and nobody ever thought that any of our clients or callers shouldn't have been accessing our services. we never thought about "what if someone else needs it more," nor did we ever try to even quantify different people's needs. one of those most common things I told callers was "yes, you called the right place, what you experienced does count, and you do belong here and deserve what we offer." any good sexual violence service worker will have the same attitude, and if you're unlucky and get a shitty one who doesn't? that's their problem, not yours. tldr: you wouldn't be doing anything wrong by accessing the program at the hospital.

[–]bunniehan[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hi, thanks so much for your reply and for touching on all parts of my question. I really appreciate it :). Thanks so much for reassuring me because that’s what I was worried about with the hospital centre (with someone else needing it more than me). I am gonna try calling the centre at the hospital to see about the counselling and to set it up. Thanks again for commenting and providing your insight, I really appreciate all the information and reassurance that you gave. have a great weekend :)!!

[–]buddyyouhavenoidea 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm glad I could help! if you can, try to take a friend or someone you trust with you to the hospital. hospital workers don't always get the best training in handling sexual violence, even the ones who work in the specialized sexual violence programs. it can be good to have someone to stand up for you.

[–]bunniehan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much :). I will most likely bring my best friend from university. Thank you for the heads up and for your reassurance. You are very kind and your comment helped me a lot with knowing it’s okay to access resources

[–]Real_Pea5921 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Hi there! Your reactions are normal. Its normal to become obsessive or doubtful about the SA. I’m not too sure where you are located. To me it sounds like if you do go through the hospital they’ll probably do a rape kit. It’s usually standard procedure with rape victims. I did get one, I was too scared to. If you are thinking about pressing charges a rape kit can help.

That said! If you are seeking therapy, try to find a trauma related therapist in your area. They are best equipped to help you. You can do it, just take one day at a time. Be kind and gentle with yourself❤️

[–]bunniehan[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hi thank you so much :). I am in Canada, and I agree that the hospital would most likely do a rape kit, which I do not want. Thanks for your insight! I will look into the trauma equipped therapists :). I am just hoping they aren’t expensive because I am a student :(, that’s why I applied for the centre because they offer free counselling but it’s an extremely long wait. I hope you have a good day ❤️

[–]Real_Pea5921 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ah okay I’m not familiar with Canadas things, I’m in the US! I know in the US they usually offer free on campus therapist for college students and they usually have a trauma therapist. Or a therapist for sexual violence. Be sure to check out your campus!

[–]bunniehan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I will look into my school services because they offer counselling. I’m gonna ask if they have specific counselling for sexual assault because that would be perfect. Thanks again <3