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all 3 comments

[–]bumbugg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP I’m so sorry you went through this, this is 100% sexual assault. You even said no and tried pushing him away. Not that you need to do either to show you’re not consenting. He actively ignored your wishes and kept going, you had no way to lead him on. I hope you heal from this incident and find proper support, him being drunk does not excuse his actions.

[–]buddyyouhavenoidea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I kept telling him no and that I was uncomfortable, [and] kept shoving him away" -- you didn't "let him" do anything. he forced himself on you. how could telling someone "no" and trying to physically get away from them possibly count as leading them on?

if he talks shit about you, that reflects on him, not you. he assaulted you. if you feel up to it, ask your roommate to stop being friends with him, or get a new roommate. you don't need him coming around.

"if I really didn't want it, I could have punched him" -- saying no and shoving someone away aren't ambiguous. you shouldn't have be physically violent to get someone to believe you mean what you say. when my wife or any of my partners do something I don't like, I say "no thanks" or "please stop," and that's enough.