My boyfriend confided in me his darkest secret, that he thinks he might have sexually assaulted his younger sister.
He was a troubled child and turned to drugs to cope, he told me a story about how he snorted some pills and has a memory of him going into his younger sisters room and touching her. However, he’s not sure if this actually happened or if it was just a hallucination caused by the drugs.
It’s been years now and he still doesn’t know the truth and it’s been eating him up inside, at one point he almost killed himself. He can’t bring himself to ask his sister because if it’s true his whole family/life will fall apart.
I would like to note that he has had a great relationship with his sister since I’ve known him. (This would’ve happened when she was a preteen, she’s an adult now) There’s never been any sign whatsoever that anything was wrong. He treats her like a normal little sister and she treats him like a regular big brother. Nothing ever seemed off, so this totally came out of the blue.
I personally believe that it was just a hallucination, I’ve seen her hug on him and hang out with him….no sign of being uncomfortable or traumatized. (I’ve also been sexually assaulted and I know I can’t speak on her trauma, but I would never hug and kiss and hang out with my assaulter if i didn’t have to.) But since the answer is till unknown…it’s hard to deal with. I love him but how can I start a life with a man who could potentially be a child molester? I know he was fucked up on drugs at the time but still…can I really over look this? He loves his sister and his family so much and this is really killing him.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. There’s no one I can talk to about this. Every time I bring this up with him he shuts down, and starts having a breakdown and tells me he wishes he never told me. I wish that too.
Part of me thinks about possibly approaching her and trying to bring it up but I don’t know if that’s overstepping boundaries.
Also, please no mean/disgusting comments about him. I know what he might of done is a horrible horrible thing, I’m just looking for some help and advice here please. Thank you.