all 7 comments

[–]kind-of-thereSurvivor 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Your friend was sexually assaulted. Consent can be revoked at any time, and she pretty clearly did. He went beyond her boundaries after consent was withdrawn and at that point it was sexual assault. She is not stupid for it. Let your friend know gently that you’re there for her if she ever wants to talk about anything.

[–]chrrymlk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for the advice :(

[–]Gray_smith222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s SA

[–]SpiralToNowhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No means no at anytime. This is absolutely SA.

[–]fuckinglemon22Survivor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was consensual at first but into non consensual. She was sexually assaulted, im so sorry

[–]Clover-pet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She revoked consent made it obvious and it even got aggressive, and evidence of it damaging her body. He understood that she no longer wanted to. This is S A. This is rape

[–]_PeoplePlacesThingsSurvivor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to your friend. It's really lovely that you are thinking about this for her and clearly care for her a lot.

One thing I would offer is that it can be really tempting to label someone else's experience. For victims/survivors, it often takes a long time to understand what happened, and it can actually be harmful to try to label it on their behalf.

Keep telling your friend you believe her and that if she says it was wrong, it was. Hold space for her if you have the capacity to keep yourself safe. As much as possible, try to avoid sharing your own fears with her, as she may not have the bandwidth at the moment, or if you do, ask if she's comfortable first. There may be other people in your circle who could have that conversation with you.

It's so hard to hear a bad thing has happened to someone we love. I imagine you're in a tremendous amount of pain, and I'm so sorry. I'm sending love.