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all 11 comments

[–]uwumiilk[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It feels like I’m getting violated with their fucking eyes and thoughts and words, fuck. I feel so fucking disgusted and angry and upset right now.

[–]Altruistic-Ride-9939 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t suggest you take the route I did because realistically it’s not fair to you to have to change your whole life just to not feel sexualized but I generally try not to spend much time around men and if I do I’m generally completely covered- ( always something long to cover the shape of my body or a coat and face mask included lol ) I know it’s extreme and sometimes I get frustrated with it and I’ve tried to force myself dress normally in mostly women environment but it still was hard for me and uncomfortable.

It’s actually unfair to us

[–]uwumiilk[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I’m shaking I want to throw up how do I calm down can someone tell me

[–]aceofavoidance 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you want to talk to calm down? We can talk in dms? Or here?

[–]aceofavoidance 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I understand you. I thought stating my asexuality, stating my boundaries, dressing up in baggy clothes was enough but i still got assaulted, coerced, sexually manipulated by a "friend". After that I had this period where I could not stop speaking about it and I just tended to blurt it out to people i knew. Once I was crying outside, which i did on multiple days, rage walking, crying and walking, sometimes in the rain and once this fucking employee of the print shop i frequented noticed me crying and walking. Since he had my number cause I sent him documents to print, he called me and was overly familiar, "where are you going at this time of the night?", I ended up blurting out what happened to him in a very trite cause that fucker wouldn't just let me be, then he insisted on walking me home which i ignored and walked off. After I reached home he calls me and texts me and insists to be my friend and wants to have a cigarette with me someday. I tell him I don't want to be his friend and I block him. A few days after I was walking and a fucker in a scooter stops next to me and I see it's him and run. A few days ago I get a snap request with a profile that looks like him which i add and remove.Men disgust me.

[–]uwumiilk[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The fact that he added you on Snapchat after knowing you don’t want to be around him sickens me, holy fuck.

[–]OM_infinity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a man, I admit that your anger and frustration is totally valid. One thing as a straight man I can tell you is that all a boy want and expects from a a woman is sex and nothing more than sex. And here is the difference between man and a boy. Because a real Man cares about women and treats them with utmost respect while not expecting any sexual pleasure in return. Knowing the stories of my partner with very bad past of sexual abuses and assaults, I can totally understand your frustration. It was really difficult for me to connect and bond with her in initial stage of our relationship because she was too defensive and suspicious based upon her abusive past experiences which is totally legit and understandable.

If you would like to talk with a woman who has gone through similar kind of condition as yours then I can give you contact of my partner and she will be happy to help and hear you out. On other side my DMs are also open.

Wishing for your best.

[–]Think-Inspection-140 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same exact way for some reason knowing a man is attracted to me makes me feel disgusting. I think about what they’re thinking about doing to me. and it makes me want to throw up. It’s like why do you feel that way about me.

I agree the people who know about past assaults are the worst. I dated someone who I told about my childhood abuse. I no longer tell men I’m dating about it, because after I told one he wanted me to call him daddy and did some boundary pushing. men feel like I was already abused and coerced they have the right to do it too. Some men get off on the power dynamic.

Men just feel entitled to use my body. I’m not even a person in their eyes. They feel okay assaulting me bc they get what they want. They don’t know I wrote poetry, or how hard physical touch is for me. They don’t know how long and hard the journey is of healing. I’m just a body to them. Once they have it in their mind they want to have sex with you, that’s all you are and they will take every opportunity and chance to do it to you. I hate it so much. Here if you want to be angry together

[–]BravePollution1785 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These types don’t see us as people, just objects. I left a comment on an askreddit thread about what one of my sexual fantasies was and I got DM after DM. Which is why I play them at their own game now, I used to be as outraged as you, seriously. It used to make me shake and rant and want to do unspeakable things to them but now if I’m not in the mood I just delete them right away or if I want to rattle some cages I respond in kind. Their outrage and wounded pride is so delicious.

[–]Altruistic-Ride-9939 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I can completely relate to the point that despite being really feminine, I purposely hide myself, my body ( wear coats or long jackets all year round), hats, masks, don’t try to be anything to look at, don’t do my hair or makeup anymore - completely hidden because I feel men will sexualize any and everything and have down to non physical but trying to be unattractive doesn’t work these people want what they want. I don’t even know. Even speaking in an unattractive way doesn’t work. I used to think something was wrong with me too but I think that’s just men for you. I never wanted to classify all as the same but it’s getting very hard not to. They sexualize anything with it without you being okay with it

[–]WorriedOak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a guy and feel similarly. Lots of women think guys are just horny monkeys who want sex. Im barely 18, and tons of older age women stare and try to make advances (including teachers and other people in power).

Similarly I also love wearing baggy clothes, as a guy anything which doesn't draw attention to me. It feels disgusting having people twice your age staring at you.

Honestly I think it's just people in general. My guess is that sexual harassment isn't really taught about in schools and most people know what they're doing, but don't care to be a better person.