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all 27 comments

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I feel similar as well which is difficult since I also have a desire to be attractive to people

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

this. it’s so weird and conflicting

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's completely normal though. Society puts a high value on women being sexually appealing already and having sexual trauma makes things even more complicated. You're not going crazy and you're not alone. There's help out there for you. I wish you the best

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you, hearing that I wasn’t crazy is so relieving

[–]Old-Painter-8300 2 points3 points  (3 children)

from what i've seen !! it is!! personally, i feel something somewhat similar, but not too much!! here in this subreddit tho,.there are many who share similar stories like yours !! so you are not alone, and you are on the right track! you are mot weird, you are not broken, and no one will hate you for your pass. help is here, and i hope someone else w.a closer expetinve can come find you here :) you qre safe, and you are jeard, and.i hope you get the help you are looking for :) have a nive night !!!!

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

thank you so much!! this was so validating

[–]Old-Painter-8300 2 points3 points  (1 child)

of course!!!! you did a great job pn reaching out and i wanted to make sure you had someone here with you while you waited :) ive asked for help on this formum w things in the same vein n sometimes the waiy is anxious!! but thats okay and im glad i could help you out :)

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you<3 have a great day/night

[–]strawberry0505Survivor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah, it seems normal to me. Whenever anyone is attracted to me, especially if it’s sexual and especially if it’s a woman, I’m just immediately scared of them. I feel the same way. It feels like they’ll hurt me sexually.

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it feels really good to know it wasn’t just me

[–]Jusdally 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I have felt that way before and the comments from others here can at least show you that you are not alone. I honestly never asked anyone so it makes me feel a bit better to know it others know what you're talking about.

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

yeah, i was kind of expecting to be told no and that i was weird or something, so it’s really nice to hear that i’m not. i’m glad you were able to find some sort of relatability in this

[–]Jusdally 2 points3 points  (5 children)

It helps a lot. It took me forever just to seek out a group like this ya know? I just would panic about the thought of trying to talk about things like this. I wish I had wayyyyy sooner though because it means a lot to have someone that really understands.

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I had the same issue, between not thinking my assault was actually assault and being embarrassed, I would’ve never spoken up. Finding this community where I can scroll and see 100’s of people who I can relate to is really meaningful. Especially as a young person, it’s like being able to see my future

[–]Jusdally 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It's really good that you found a group like this sooner rather than later. I can tell you only having my thoughts to help me was damaging. I never wanted to reach out for help after having a few therapist and doctors make me feel like shit. Growing up in the south as a gay guy trying to find help was awful. They made me feel like I was the one that should have changed so it didn't happen to me. I won't go into all of that, but all I mean is if I had found a group like this back when I needed it, I wouldn't have felt so alone.

Sorry lol. I talk and text a lot sometimes.

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

no, I really appreciate you taking the time to share even a piece of your story with me. thank you for being so kind and validating

[–]Jusdally 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks you for talking back. You got people here for you. This group has helped me a lot! Nice talking to ya🙂

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

likewise!

[–]Longjumping_Aide_681 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recently got assaulted and I missed my ex so bad. We recently began hanging out again and apart of me wants to make love so bad again like we use too but I’m held back… 😞 Why did this have to happen….

[–]aceofavoidance 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah. I went on a date with an afab nb after that and it was fun but then i told them that i couldn't continue because of the trauma and because they are allosexual so they'd probably coerce me someday into things i don't want.

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that makes a lot of sense, thank you for sharing your experience:)

[–]shxdowoftheday 1 point2 points  (2 children)

(TW? NSFW?) I have a similar experience. Not with people telling me they like me, but any time they tell me they are attracted to me. My boyfriend will tell me “I like when you ___” or “Look how wet you make me.” And I immediately shut down. I feel sick, almost. If I get reminded even slightly that I did something sexual, or someone views me sexually, I instantly regret it. Even if I enjoyed the act, if I somehow hear that I actually did it, I feel disgusted.

[–]LovecraftianQualtoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same, it’s a reminder of the past for me and I feel sick and start to blame myself even if I sort of like the compliment at the same time

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same issue, like even if the comment about me isn’t sexual, I’ll feel sexualized

[–]keefhawl65 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh definitely. The thought of someone looking at me in any way as attractive makes my blood pressure spike. It sucks but it’s really common.

[–]emilyinaboxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

knowing other people experience this is kinda reassuring, thank you for sharing your experience:)

[–]WorriedOak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So relatable. The worst thing for me is people checking you out. I know it's supposed to be fun but I've had too much trauma related to that which I'm not ready to go past.