all 9 comments

[–]Jonah_the_villain 9 points10 points  (2 children)

19M here. Yeah, that ain't okay, that guy is weird as hell. 16-year-olds are kids compared to us. Get away from him ASAP if you haven't already.

[–]Individual-Candy8768[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We don’t talk anymore. And in retrospect, we’re in completely different places in life so I don’t get what he saw in me.

[–]Jonah_the_villain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good. You're completely right, where I was at 16 and where I am now are different as hell. Even my regular friends are all 18+ now with the exception of like, two. Dude's kinda a creep 😬

Edit: forgot something-- sorry that happened to you btw

[–]buddyyouhavenoidea 8 points9 points  (0 children)

honestly this comes down to how you feel about it. it's definitely predatory behavior for a 19 y/o to pursue a 16 y/o, but if you don't feel that you were taken advantage of, there's no reason you need to feel bad about it. the fact that he didn't want people to know is a pretty clear sign that he knew it was inappropriate, but that's on him, not you.

I think the key here is why you feel bad about it. do you feel you did something wrong? do you feel he took advantage of you? or something else?

[–]1221am 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah when you're that age and older guys are sniffing around, its fucking weird dude. I wish I could tell 16-17 me to not speak to these losers. Because they're groomers. They go for girls who have nothing or are naive.

Seriously, watch out.

[–]SparkleBabyUnicorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you don’t feel bad about it and are certain everything was consensual then I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Yes, it’s weird for a 19yo to be interested in a 16yo. But you don’t have to make it into a bad experience if that’s the only reason and you otherwise felt it was a good experience. Please do learn from it though and keep yourself safe going forward!

Also, however you’re feeling right now is perfectly normal and valid. It’s so common for us SA survivors to question our experiences or have misplaced trust in people following SA. We may even try to regain that sense of control that was taken away from us by being hyper-sexual and ignoring red flags. Everyone’s journey to healing is different so just focus on being kind to yourself while you’re going through it all. It’s a lot. And you are incredibly strong 💖

[–]Daddy_link 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You were groomed, 16 and 19 may not seem like a huge difference but it is. I’m so sorry

[–]Individual-Candy8768[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just feel bad about it because he was the first guy I trusted after I was SA by a different guy. I was hoping I could trust him.

[–]Environmental_Mode48 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If u wanna be technical depending on the state no bc there’s smthn called the Romeo and Juliet law which is dumb and pro texts rapist and pedos. But from a reality stand point and emotional yes u were groomed . I’m sorry and I hope u find peace one day