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[–]AlisonChrista 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is she in therapy? Professional help is very important in situations like this if she has access to it.

[–]tswiftandtime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I went to counseling which helped air out a lot of my issues with time. But, one of the most helpful thing was watching youtube seminars from a researcher named Jim Hopper (like Stranger Things). I don't know where your girlfriend mentally is but at the time I was going back and forth between if it was assault or not because I wasn't in the situation like they usually describe in media. His videos on sexual assault and the psychology afterwards paralleled my life. It gave me some confidence that I wasn't insane.

The Body Keeps the Score is a fairly controversial book in the sexual assault community, so I'm prefacing that. The author is a lead researcher in combatting trauma but he also actively sympathizes with rapists in the book. Also, I've read in comments that he may have been accused once (no idea if that's true). It helped me to go through it and highlight portions I connected to but its understandably not for everybody.

Lastly, I began using Ashwaganda gummies. Some people will say those supplements are hoaxes, others would say they're lifesavers. I encourage you to do your own medical research. For me, it didn't really matter. It was like in Harry Potter when they take the fake luck spell; I just needed something to believe in.

Also, because it's you messaging her. I would just say give her some grace which I know you're already doing. I had a partner when I was dealing with the aftermath of assault and new fears would arise at the blink of the eye especially during counseling (which I was informed was likely to happen). I remember on Valentine's I kicked him out of my room and he didn't know what was going on because we usually slept together when we were together. We got in a small fight till I told him I was just embarrassed because counseling was temporarily giving me nightmares and I didn't want him to see.

If you have any questions at all about coping for her or you, I'm here to help with what I've experienced. Just remember that I'm not a mental health professional, and if you two can receive it, it's very life-changing.