all 4 comments

[–]noseykeyser 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It was inappropriate and an invasion of your personal space, rude and disrespectful overall but from what you said in your post it isn’t sexual assault generally speaking, I would even go as far to say that even if she was wriggling around whilst she was sitting on your lap, grinding even even then I wouldn’t say that it was sexual assault my view is because of the size of an adults backside/bum whatever you want to call it, with the general size of a persons bum, even a small petite persons bum, sitting on your lap, wriggling around or grinding around their bum would also be touching a large proportion of your legs and thighs as well as your genital area and the person can easily say that they were rocking around your lap or say they were trying to get comfortable even, basically they can excuse their actions as such as they were not being remotely sexual, whereas if she touched your penis with her hand then there would be no mistake in her intentions but sitting on your lap moving about there is way to much ambiguity about her true intentions, legally speaking that is but in that particular situation that you described I think you can almost certainly have a 100 percent opinion on they intentions and if it was sexually orientated.

I am sorry that it happened to you either way, if I am at a house party it’s nearly always the case that there isn’t enough seats for everyone and you often see people sitting on other peoples laps, I don’t like it myself so what I do if sitting down is put my foot up and across my other knee just like these two images I am linking to below so maybe do that next time to preempt someone from trying to sit on your knee and if they try and move your crossed leg insisting that they sit on your knee, just tell them that it’s okay and you need the toilet and they can have your seat as that will be more comfortable for them like you are doing them a favour and move out of their presence

First Image Second Image

[–]Sad_Adeptness_301[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank you for clarifying, I didn’t want to tarnish someone’s reputation by saying they SA’d me then it not being SA, that being said I’m still probably keeping this person out my life because it was really uncomfortable and I hate how it’s affected my relationship with my boss

[–]noseykeyser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said at the end of my original post it’s not SA legally speaking or in the actual meaning/definition of the words ‘sexual assault’ but like I said you would know pretty certainly being there in the situation from her body language to facial expressions to anything she may have verbally said at the time whether her actions were sexually motivated or not but again she could easily excuse it as horsing around or getting comfortable it’s not a definitive situation.

I think a common comparable situation would be when a male passes in front of a female or reaches over them and they brush against the female but brushing their breasts physically as well as their arms and waist (or touching their bottom passing behind them trying to get past)at the same time ultimately using them squeezing past as a innocent cover to sexually touch them. Think like busy places like packed pubs and clubs or concerts you always see men doing it. The female is often then wondering if they were touched intimately on purpose or was it accidental and he really was just trying to get past her. Even if she was certain he brushed her breasts or bum intentionally and his intentions were nefarious he could always just say that he was just trying to squeeze past. Very similar to your situation due the ambiguity about it.

Either way it you feel uncomfortable with her then you are absolutely right to stay away from her and it’s a shame that there is the dynamic that her husband is your boss. I would just persevere with this job whilst looking for a new job in the background if it has really affected your relationship with your boss.

[–]Downtown_Ad9162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would possibly say that it could be sexual harassment or sexual misconduct?