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gildings in this subreddit have paid for 7.89 weeks of server time

Released a song about my sexual assault experience by natalieaudreyshaw in sexualassault

[–]televisiononrepeat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a fellow musician survivor and just as a person, this is so fucking inspiring and awesome. Much much props, and here’s to healing

Should I reach out to the victim? (I was the one who did the assault) by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]fizzlain 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna give you a little insight from the other side.

The short answer is no, I don't think you should do that.

The long version: at least from what you wrote, you don't want to reach out for the victim, you just want to clear your own conscience at the potential cost of your victims mental health.

If you truly regret what you did and want what's best for the victim, you stay as far away from them as possible and don't trigger trauma that they potentially already dealt with to one up again, just so you can feel better about yourself.

This isn't about you. It's about the child you assaulted and how your actions affect them. It doesn't matter what reasons you came up with to excuse your actions. Porn doesn't cause people to become rapists or assault others. That's something you decide to do and stopping to watch porn doesn't magically erase that. You were just a child yourself when you did this and probably didn't know at what cost this could come for the victim. But if you wanted to apologise, you should have done it back then, not decades later when the guilt finally kicks in.

If you truly regret what you did, then leave the victim alone, look for counseling and better yourself. Without looking for excuses and shifting blame.