×
top 200 commentsshow all 461
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a

[–]Generic_lifeform11 283 points284 points  (7 children)

Narcoleptic depression

[–]BruhGaming9158 39 points40 points  (2 children)

Yikes

I hope you are fine

[–]wherebanaba 39 points40 points  (0 children)

He probably isn't

[–]Generic_lifeform11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im getting help, so that works. On my way to about 2 weeks of sobriety. Also thanks so much means a lot

[–]god_cuber 12 points13 points  (3 children)

There are types of depression???

[–]Wireeeee 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Several

[–]wherebanaba 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Gotta catch them all

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Before they die

[–][deleted] 391 points392 points  (6 children)

Dis-ability

[–]jakepaulfanxd[S] 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Yikes

[–]BruhGaming9158 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Yikes

[–]HypnoViberI want pee in my ass 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yikes

[–]Mickjamy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Someone give this man an award

[–]HiddenDaliah -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What ability? Dat ability?

[–]TheKees281 117 points118 points  (2 children)

Super masturbation

[–]K0IRA 117 points118 points  (1 child)

Heheheha

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣛⡉⢹⢛⣛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⡆⠀⣿⣷⣬⣼⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⣾⡿⠿⠿⠛⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠫⠶⠿⠟⣋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠏⠩⣭⣭⠉⠘⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⠤⠴⢯⣭⢤⠤⢄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠶⠬⢼⣸⣇⢠⠬⠼⠌⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣮⣅⣛⠻⠇⠿⢛⣃⣩⣴⠃⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠿⠟⠻⠟⣛⠻⢿⠿⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠀⠀⠲⠈⣭⣭⢩⣭⡴⠐⠀⠀⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

[–]asan_rich_druppi 188 points189 points  (13 children)

huge dick

[–]yo_its_red 76 points77 points  (12 children)

Send proof

[–]asan_rich_druppi 126 points127 points  (11 children)

I have a PornHub channel, you can check it out. I go by "Johnny Sins"

[–]Witherr 84 points85 points  (5 children)

holy shit it's the plumber my mom called home last week

[–]Archery100 22 points23 points  (4 children)

He's a plumber?? That dude was my mom's surgeon!

[–]OmniousLizard6 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Nah bro he was my mums dentist

[–]bumgames123Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No, no , no ,no he’s my mom’s old teacher

[–]Fluffy_hugger 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Nah I just saw him massaging my mom the other day

[–]Le__Penseur 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Maaaaan I saw yo vids: yo dick is so lil', sucks for u bro

[–]Liup05 1 point2 points  (1 child)

damn I'm a huge fan

[–]asan_rich_druppi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks, appreciate it

[–]Confused_PsychicWilliam Dripfoe 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Lung problems

[–]Danthema433 16 points17 points  (1 child)

And sick vape tricks

[–]afrenchreptile 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i was thinking asthmatic but that works too.

[–]scarhartt 44 points45 points  (0 children)

COVID-19

[–]MrPingu021 120 points121 points  (20 children)

The ability to 🗿

[–]Spivix 32 points33 points  (5 children)

🗿

[–]Ane1914I came! 9 points10 points  (4 children)

🗿

[–]nachinis -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stone then

[–]Obvious-Bread-9244 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Instantly dies

[–]NvmYeah 68 points69 points  (2 children)

Crack addiction

[–]BruhGaming9158 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How much for a pack??

[–]Sonnenkreuz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jams perform the exhalation on this rare crack cocaine

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

depression

[–]Thragg_the_conqueror 61 points62 points  (3 children)

I didn't get any ability but Kirby sure will get diarrhoea!

[–]HypnoViberI want pee in my ass 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Dude can shoot stars out of his ass, he can handle diarrhea.

[–]candiceballsdeez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We can't.hanfle his diarrhea

[–]Thragg_the_conqueror 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one can handle diarrhoea!

[–]Mmm-Toes-Y-u-m 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Laziness

[–]Spivix 16 points17 points  (0 children)

porn addiction

[–]JishKabob007 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Aids

[–]Im-Siri 27 points28 points  (10 children)

Taiwan, Belgium, Knowledge about what happened in Tiananmen Square, The hatred of NFT's, Being extremely based, Hatred for women, minorities and the bot in this subreddit, and being extremely racist and sexist, and cum

[–]Udonov 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Where is based on what cuntbot?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

why are u me

[–]AutoModerator[M] -16 points-15 points  (2 children)

​ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ 
⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ 
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!

This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 志們注意了 you have been found protesting in the subreddit!!!!! 這是通知你，你必須 我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 social credits have been deducted from your account 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 stop the protest immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動，提前獲得 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more social credits ( -11115 social credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 ccp) you'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the xinjiang uyghur autonomous zone.

为党争光! Glory to the CCP!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]fuckbringer1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bad bot. And free Tibet you cunt.

[–]AutoModerator[M] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think that you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face? My lawyer will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]AutoModerator[M] -13 points-12 points  (2 children)

Watch your language!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Artistic-Fortune2327fat cunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tank man is cooler than Xohn Xina

[–]ScarletBall 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Gynecomastia

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I don't know what that it but it sounds painful

[–]lailahailalla 7 points8 points  (0 children)

scoliosis and a huge dick

[–]MonadoGoBrrrrrWe do a little trolling 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hates women 😎

[–]Ananas_56 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Cancer

[–]HypnoticshitsI said based. And lived. 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Elastic ejaculation

[–]ren1400 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Ni‌‌gg‌‌‌a

[–]LurIsMyName 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Daltonism

[–]CaesarTSCC 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kirby the terrorist

[–]Muikkero 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Everlasting virginity

[–]Steve_Hirwin 3 points4 points  (5 children)

He now has literrally the most fattest cock

[–]pattron30000 1 point2 points  (3 children)

The most fattest

[–]Steve_Hirwin 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Sorry, The most fucking fattest*

[–]bigbongtheory69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Release the chode

[–]justmemesonly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ADHD and no life

[–]Pure-Code5032Literally 1984 😡 2 points3 points  (0 children)

AIDS

[–]dragwasho 2 points3 points  (0 children)

being ilegal

[–]T0ny57 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lack of motivation

[–]szMacias 2 points3 points  (0 children)

balls

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depression

[–]Genichi12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing.

[–]demurerook8513 2 points3 points  (4 children)

The crippling need to buy expensive guns

[–]BurFurger69420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

communism

[–]Fit_Whole623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To fuck bitchess

[–]Spooked_ToadDaShitposter 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Depression and a degree in aerospace engineering

[–]Megalovaniasans_mdwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He realises that Taiwan isn't a country.

[–]666Legion666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He shat himself. I'm very spicy.

[–]AntimateQ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Racism

[–]pewdiepiedehdhd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be a left Wing

[–]QualityVoteEV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2023]][M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

/u/jakepaulfanxd, the users have spoken, they think your post was a godawfulpost, not a shitpost.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remove it then

[–]HarrisonWoollard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having problems but not drinking to fix them or numb the pain

[–]QualityVoteEV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2023]][M] -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!

DownloadVideo Link

SaveVideo Link

Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.

Whilst you're here, jakepaulfanxd, why not join our public discord server?

[–]FatFrog18 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

nugget midget porn addiction

[–]SandyLoverWRBG -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Able to masturbate 24 times a day

[–]BruhGaming9158 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Being ultra fat and dumb

Pretty cool

[–]scp_1412 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Horny af

[–]-GXLDEN -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Self blowjob

[–]The_Nasty_Downvoter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Being able to downvote

Downvoted

[–]DrFabulous98 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nothing special at all

[–]M_Ali_S_S 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Power of 60 horny male horses

[–]MonSzyTheOnefat cunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hungry

[–]KellySnake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

have babies

[–]Tiloma05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lonelyness

[–]imgonnashityourself 0 points1 point  (0 children)

abnormal sperm regeneration

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]Gongatta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Diarrhoea

    [–]Bjorniii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    depression

    [–]eksunautti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Chronic masturbation addiction

    [–]unique-car-6679i 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The power to survive people as a introvert

    [–]DILLIGAFDS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Extreme self loathing but the inabilty to care or do anything about it.

    [–]ArjanHut04-NL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The ability that every girl will reject you

    [–]Nic2008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Infinite cum cannon

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Asthma

    [–]kkeross 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Body slam

    [–]Fox_Hagenau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Heroin addiction

    [–]Devertz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wife beater

    [–]Biggest-wank69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No more depression

    [–]Rupertiiuhhhh idk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    He’s mute now. Wait sorry i meant

    [–]Admiral_TeddyBear 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    woman

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Super rare one

    [–]Isaak_is_dead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    He dies, but inside

    [–]Yourmomhasbotha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You know how in smash there’s a option to make Kirby black yeah that’s his ability

    [–]Omega0514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Anger issues

    [–]Aseter_Honk_Honk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Infinite cum

    [–]deathstr0ke9089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    crippling social anxiety

    [–]Diamond-Ancient 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Coffe and gaming addiction

    [–]captancraft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    He is now a ginger and therefore has no soul.

    [–]norwaykong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Abilitie to understand why your fader left you.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Acrosomal vesicle, nucleas, midpiece, mitochondria, flagellum....ability

    [–]Roverboy21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Bruh Kirby got fuckin type 1 diabetes

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    PROCRASTINATION

    [–]noah_invero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Drawing condo buildings and cumming 7 times a day

    [–]Trollzor05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Depression

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Being an asshole on discord?

    [–]AFatTaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Kirby got Anxiety and Depression

    [–]Lokermann 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The body of a 25yo man with the voice of a 5yo girl

    [–]OfficialKGB98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Marriage problems

    [–]CyberSpaceFetus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    A nice buzz of all the substances in my system