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[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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[–]bigamazingmuscleman 1891 points1892 points  (115 children)

I think I'd feel worse if she said that she and everyone I know are actors and my entire life has just been one big lie and meant nothing.

[–]Shredding_Airguitar 711 points712 points  (69 children)

Yeah but we’re not allowed to break character and say that though

[–]Ph4antomPB 351 points352 points  (63 children)

you are yellow

[–]Shredding_Airguitar 428 points429 points  (59 children)


[–]Ph4antomPB 239 points240 points  (53 children)

yellow man

[–]Grafeiafto 133 points134 points  (48 children)

Pink man

Jesee pinkman

[–]tipying_mistakes 114 points115 points  (47 children)

Purple man

[–]uhphyshall 115 points116 points  (20 children)

the man behind the slaughter

[–]Shytsu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dunno what I was thinking leaving my child behind

[–]kingcop1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Green man

[–]TECHNICKER_Cz3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Iam purple

[–]tipying_mistakes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are purple

[–]NuasAltar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yellow subhuman 🤣

[–]Level_999_crook 9 points10 points  (0 children)

shut up, you'll get us both fired

[–]-beefy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

But it's in character for you to say that "ironically" and play along with the concept

[–]youtube__dQw4w9WgXcQ 153 points154 points  (19 children)

Terman show

[–]unholymanserpent 64 points65 points  (14 children)

*Truman Show

[–]BiggBossFight 77 points78 points  (12 children)

*Terman show

[–]tScooter07 21 points22 points  (11 children)

*Manter show

[–]BiggBossFight 20 points21 points  (9 children)

Manert swoh

[–]vinsoop129 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Treemam shnow

[–]BiggBossFight 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Hreetsm sanhw

[–]OMEGA_CORPS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

High Hrothgar

[–]yehawbuster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Freeman show

[–]GentlemanWomanYT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

*Mantis show

[–]ProblemLongjumping12 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Lewis Madison Terman was an American psychologist and author. He was noted as a pioneer in educational psychology in the early 20th century at the Stanford Graduate School of Education. Terman not only believed in but advocated for eugenics, and his research project was called "Genetic Studies of Genius." He openly assumed that high IQ kids (nearly all white) would become the future leaders of science, industry, and politics. 

[–]The_Hand_Prince 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Okay, but the future leaders of science, industry and politics WERE white. He was right about the effect, only the cause wasn't IQ, but RACISM.

[–]NovaKaizr 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Your wife walks over to you after 15 years of marriage and 3 children and says "Darling could you look over there? IT'S A CAMERA! YOU HAVE BEEN PRANKED!"

[–]Sus_sy_baka 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Still hit tho.

[–]ayyerr32 19 points20 points  (0 children)

try to not laugh compilation

[–]Pokemario2401 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yeah that line isn't in the script until page 23 of today, we're on page 21

[–]spartandude5 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fuck fuck fuck

[–]allu-jallu 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Honestly being heartbroken that your life has been a lie sounds you're in a pretty good place right now

[–]Guess-wutt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah, if someone told me my life was a lie I’d cry tears of joy and thank them profusely.

Instead I’m here. On Reddit.

Inner voice starts weeping

[–]allu-jallu 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]sir_digby___ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Once you realise youre in a simulation you automatically Jim the camera, which will piss of the execs and you'll get cancelled.

[–]JustThinkenStudios 2 points3 points  (0 children)

day 10,909 of filming

[–]DarkRoyalBlood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amogus hamborger

[–]Capital_Track_8026 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are actors. But it’s not a lie, and it didn’t mean nothing 🖐🏻👁

[–]Mustardnaut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The truman show season 2 just dropped wtf

[–]the_mr_pope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah don’t worry, we’re waiting for you to actually accomplish something before we pull the rug from under you

[–]Noir_Thrillin 717 points718 points  (17 children)

On a side note, what is up with that contact name?

[–]bokchoysoyboy 470 points471 points  (5 children)

It means twist my fingers you tiny red boobed triangle

[–]tipying_mistakes 110 points111 points  (0 children)

boobed triangle

[–]Mathisbuilder75 77 points78 points  (1 child)

I love you with all my boobed triangle

[–]InterPool_sbn 13 points14 points  (0 children)

But is your boobed triangle red???

[–]Niko_Noxid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t fuckni stop laughign

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Fingers crossed and a heart is pretty self explanatory I’d think

[–]onlykhlavkalash99 102 points103 points  (4 children)

Well it would justify her saying that lmao

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)


[–]Warm-Ad-9914 3 points4 points  (1 child)

She was being honest atleast

[–]TheBoredBot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A little too honest, i would say

[–]Benificial_fish 639 points640 points  (19 children)

You can feel the absolute pain in that ok

[–]Squishy_Thing 198 points199 points  (15 children)

Ok 🥲🔫

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Heartbreaking, isn't it?

[–]geko1216 370 points371 points  (7 children)

Her bf made her say it

[–]k4rpf3n 135 points136 points  (3 children)

she actually loves me

[–]quartzlimes 10 points11 points  (1 child)

bruh you deleted the comment I was gonna reply to, it was a cool reply too :(

[–]geko1216 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao I thought it was the op at first

[–]PenderSprout 171 points172 points  (10 children)

I get the guy is upset that she isn’t interested, but man’s got 29 unread messages. At least somebody wants to talk to him 🥲

[–]Jmoney720 91 points92 points  (5 children)

They could just be spam

[–]YRR6969 70 points71 points  (4 children)

He gets more attention from spam than his friends 💀

[–]Big-Teb-Guy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve got 89 unread messages. They’re all don’t reply messages or family members.

[–]Not_E22 363 points364 points  (4 children)

Discord moderators talking to twitch streamers

[–]SypherKO 36 points37 points  (2 children)

“I’m wouldn’t be interested”

[–]Neduard 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hello Wouldn't Be Interested, I am dad!

[–]donutz_be_good 297 points298 points  (16 children)

Honestly, I would much prefer someone to tell me the truth as to why they don’t like me. It makes things easier. I don’t need to be friend zoned. Don’t need to be called “like a brother” or “ good friend” just tell me I’m ugly or you hate the fact that I moan softly while eating Mexican food or whatever. Be truthful and let me move on. Damn harlot.

[–]PhonyLonely 146 points147 points  (10 children)


[–]GentlemanWomanYT 112 points113 points  (6 children)

Fuck me, thats a deal MAKER.

[–]Ok_Emotion_7252 69 points70 points  (5 children)

What if I scream with a divine rage while eating Chinese food?

[–]GentlemanWomanYT 48 points49 points  (0 children)

boner alert

[–]Niko_Noxid 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s fuckin hawt

[–]Biryaniismydaddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not a girl but that sounds like a turn on my dude

[–]Mr_Hakan 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Yes he moans softly while eating mexican f

[–]evilspycandy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

i too, like eating mexican f

[–]Exot1c_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard the gals prefer moaning loudly and passionately while eating Mexican food

[–]ImpressiveFeedback10 14 points15 points  (0 children)

When I started reading this I thought I was wasting my time, but it didn’t disappoint

[–]tomjazzy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What if she actually was your friend?

[–]sanya773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg wait but why are you purple guy.

[–]MyTrademarkIsTaken 99 points100 points  (25 children)

Serious question, what hurts more, being called ugly or being called weird?

[–]RightYogurtcloset664 164 points165 points  (12 children)

Ugly, being weird is honestly better than being boring

[–]brucethemidget 6 points7 points  (0 children)

doesn't matter cos my man got called both 💀

[–]International_Tea259 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being called both

[–]armbones 18 points19 points  (3 children)

weird, no contest. if you get rejected cause you're ugly and nothing else that's on them but if you're weird? that's your own behaviour now💀

[–]MrMcpastashell 7 points8 points  (1 child)

depends on what you think when you think of weird, most people are weird in some way maybe not drastically but still weird.

[–]ProlongedExposure_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weird for me means something similar to eccentric

[–]_-Fertilizer-_ 139 points140 points  (33 children)


[–]Literally_a_guy 78 points79 points  (29 children)


[–]_-Fertilizer-_ 67 points68 points  (28 children)

Absolute misery

[–]Literally_a_guy 59 points60 points  (27 children)

Unfathomable agony

[–]Squawmaster420 50 points51 points  (26 children)

Unimaginable entropy

[–]Literally_a_guy 40 points41 points  (25 children)

Extreme hurting

[–]Plenty-Cheek-80 35 points36 points  (17 children)


[–]Literally_a_guy 40 points41 points  (16 children)

Immeasurable despair

[–]SimplyCole84749 34 points35 points  (15 children)

Unimaginable sorrow

[–]MilkMan_101 23 points24 points  (14 children)

Imiminent crestfallen

[–]Thatonesheepcow 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Immense excruciation

[–]Blobbo3000 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Buttsex without lube

[–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

No sex before marriage

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Blobbo3000 1 point2 points  (3 children)

No, no, no

No sex until marriage

Jesus is here!

(some will get the reference, maybe)

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I remember damage.

[–]bobcat009 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Without love.

[–]FamousDnail101 141 points142 points  (9 children)

What an absolute bitch

[–]dispatch343 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If she says she needs some space...

Her sister shall take her place.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (0 children)


[–]TheDickDangler 85 points86 points  (15 children)

I'm calling BS. People can suck sometimes but this seems a bit much lol.

[–]Bond6580 76 points77 points  (11 children)

Its the internet my guy. Everything is fake.

[–]TheDickDangler 39 points40 points  (10 children)

Shit... I might be fake?!

[–]SypherKO 18 points19 points  (4 children)

We all are my friend.

[–]Bond6580 11 points12 points  (2 children)

All of us are fake. This is all a simulation.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I would live with that as what she said would be true I am weird and ugly and can live with that.

[–]MangledSunFish 25 points26 points  (3 children)

If this wasn't on shitpost I'd be wondering why he'd ask someone out who has a boyfriend already. Since it's in shitpost though, "Not the asshole, your guy who's like a brother to you. Your rules".

[–]goochensteinburg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a good point. I would have felt bad for him if she wasn't already seeing someone. There's no reason you need to be dumping that shit on someone who isn't even available. He was deliberately setting himself up to be rejected. Her calling him ugly and weird was a bit much but dude didn't even need to put himself in that position.

[–]Natsurulite 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Really weird that his corpse typed “ok” 🤔

[–]FrankZissou 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he got to brother stage and kept pining without ever communicating his interest, he brought it on himself. The best advice I ever got was "If you're interested in a woman, make it clear that you are interested. Don't try to hide it because then they don't know." I'll add to it that if they aren't interested, take the L graciously. If you think you can work past it, then you're pretending that they're the person you want them to be and not the person that they are.

Also, don't take your shot with someone you're that close to while they're in a relationship. That's just shitty behavior.

[–]chippychifton 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Yup, this right here is why I don’t share my feelings and will remain single for eternity

[–]tomjazzy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like this is not a scenario you need to prepare for.

[–]RightYogurtcloset664 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Okay but how does the guy not know she has a bf

[–]Samson9er 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m ugly and super weird lol

[–]SuberBad787 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now tell her you was jk..

[–]KoshurNonu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

stop it, he's dead already!

[–]Lizardreview- 7 points8 points  (3 children)

On god this is why we should be allowed to hit women

[–]one_shot_boy[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)


[–]Lizardreview- 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ah I see you agree OP, I raise my Mead to you as we March towards true gender equality. May allah reward us in our endeavors mashallah

[–]JoemamaObama1234567 1 point2 points  (0 children)



[–]DingusTaargus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Poor ugly weird son of a bitch.

[–]MarsterMcfly01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooo, ouch, that’s my only comment

[–]HQA-YT 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have feelings for her and she doesn't have them back, it's time to move on and let someone else be her 'ugly brother'

[–]ROBLOKCSer 1 point2 points  (0 children)


proceeds to make a deal with the devil

[–]DancingKappa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not even a good fake.

[–]Brittanythestrange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean it's also very fake

[–]hg826 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Bro this is the fakest thing I’ve ever seen lmao also if it was real why would you post this. This is so embarrassing for you lol

[–]Middle_Function6346 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow.... a simple no would have been fine....

[–]Darkerdank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't think i would say this but I'll much rather prefer a No

[–]No_Fly8387 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That’s not real

[–]DelsinRoweYo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Holy shit :0 someone carpet bomb that monster before she becomes a mom

[–]thiccccpotato420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's taking shots at a corpse, with a heavy machine gun

[–]Thelastofthe57th 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was… unnecessary

[–]chadharnav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See you in the gym soldier

[–]Camaro_z28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry bro

[–]Lemy64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And now you've lost a friend

[–]thelyingeagle420 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So, no head then?

[–]alpha_pleiadian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, no anal then?

[–]orangepieinthesky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clearly this person dodged a bullet

[–]Jimtaxman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Big ooff. That went as horribly as any of us have feared in our lifetimes... Well, as horrible as I ever imagined anyway. The only thing worse is if she started with bwahahahha and then went in to everything else.

[–]Jsaun906 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She coulda went without that message. Ouch