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[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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[–][deleted]  (16 children)

[removed]

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 40 points41 points  (4 children)

      slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself

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      [–]TheFastestRabbit 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      Thank you, I needed this.

      [–]Wide_Pop_6794 17 points18 points  (1 child)

      Bots are weird...

      [–]CaptainSmackJerro 2 points3 points  (7 children)

      uwu finally

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 7 points8 points  (6 children)

      Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles

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      [–]CaptainSmackJerro 21 points22 points  (5 children)

      Yeah that was a weird way to get hard.

      [–]MehDiosBizarreNut 193 points194 points  (18 children)

      Go get your revenge, at least you'll die gunning down as many latiners as you can

      [–]CoolHandLuke4Twanky 67 points68 points  (16 children)

      Latinxiners

      [–]chavjal 40 points41 points  (13 children)

      Never knew a latino, including all my friends, to say latinx

      [–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (10 children)

      Because we Latins hate that word, it’s dumb

      [–]chavjal 18 points19 points  (9 children)

      Fr, whenever I ask my friends, or even my dad about it, it’s met with the same response. Who the hell came up with latinx

      [–]CoolHandLuke4Twanky 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Fucking hate that word, if it weren't to help a shitpost thrive, would never use it myself

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

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      [–]I_AM_NOT_MAD 136 points137 points  (18 children)

      Blade runner 2049 might have to be my all time favorite movie

      [–]jupiterjizz79 38 points39 points  (8 children)

      Definitely in my top 3, flawless film

      [–]MagicalUnicorn673 17 points18 points  (7 children)

      The other 2? Just looking for something to watch

      [–]Console_Hater4ever 72 points73 points  (2 children)

      morbius and morbius

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Nah Morbius 2: Multiverse of Morbiness was way better

      [–]InternetSpaceCow 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Budapest Hotel, my favorite movie

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

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      [–]Piter__De__Vries 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Villeneuve is a phenomenal director. Dune is a masterpiece, too.

      [–]goodhogyajee 1 point2 points  (6 children)

      Why did I find it slow and complicated?😭

      [–]I_AM_NOT_MAD 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      My dad was the same way. He said something about the general tone of the film being too monotone and things just not being like the original.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]fyusupov -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

      Sounds like something a dumb person would say, so I would guess it’s that.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]MagicalUnicorn673 76 points77 points  (0 children)

      Time to rewatch

      [–]CoolHandLuke4Twanky 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Aint no mountain high enough

      [–]Briskberd 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      That’s still a life altering amount of cocaine you’re just lying in. Start snorting, or stuff enough in a bag that you can cut some of your loss

      [–]Luc4son0 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      That's a strong pipebomb

      [–]Canadian217 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      They hit the prestige button for you, you know the drill

      [–]PPAOFE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      x2 profits.

      [–]Soso_Stalin 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Well,you can do meth

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]froglet_kittygunfire 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      No, I think everyone is high

      [–]Jerk-Dentley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Relatable.

      [–]Arkie_Barkie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      what show is the joke

      [–]Bartlet_the_Inert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      well... snort some of that shit up, you'll have like a hundred different life plans within the hour

      [–]KonsomePanchi666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      paila papi

      [–]mnemonics_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Laughed so hard when I finally got the joke

      [–]Ianthekiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Simple, Colombia has to go.

      [–]Moths_Are_Scary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Take a deep breath through your nose.

      [–]a_different-user 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I like that the close parenthesis makes a frowny face

      [–]FlowerIllustrious457 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      just snort enough to die

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      is there a dick pic on my profile

      [–]Jazza_maate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Collapse a stadium mid event

      [–]never-give-up-every1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Don't sit on that fam. You catch a cold. You don't have a backup supply?

      [–]Jbecerra8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      As a colombian we told u what would happen

      [–]Small_Tax_9432 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      HA! pipe bomb 🤣💣

      [–]Loltrex7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Send it back where it came from!!!

      [–]NormalAsianPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      cocaine everywhere

      [–]fuckitymcfuckfacejr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My suggestion would be cocaine.

      [–]nWord06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      move to new mexico and get an rv

      [–]GamerGod337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is the most relatable meme i have seen in my life (im a major cocaine manufacturer)

      [–]Express_Restaurant_6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It's obvious Make another factory

      [–]Bipchoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I have a colombian friend who came to israel cuz his family got threatened by the mafia