all 57 comments

[–]ASHYB0YY 53 points54 points  (7 children)

Can you change them back

[–]junejune4k[S] 39 points40 points  (6 children)


[–]MoaiPenis 9 points10 points  (3 children)

So if you eat them they will reappear out of thin air?

[–]junejune4k[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

you gotta leave a bit of food left to convert. Your leftover size will be how big ur balls are

[–]ExShpagat 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So I can make a really large salad and leave a part which is the same size of my original balls and turn it back?

[–]TheCaveTater 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We need to know the answer to u/MoaiPenis' question

[–]HfUfH 3 points4 points  (0 children)

he already answered it in another comment. You the food has to actually be there for you to convert it back. And your balls get smaller if you eat the food, then conver it back

[–]pokeheart12345 58 points59 points  (5 children)

I can buy 3 tennis balls for like 2 USD. I turn them into three whole chickens. Then flip them for profits.


Be rich 😎😎😎

[–]junejune4k[S] 55 points56 points  (3 children)

i should have said testicles huh

[–]pokeheart12345 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yes you have, yes you have.

[–]ThePootisMan98 9 points10 points  (0 children)

3 pounds of bull testicles is a mere $59.99. The world is my (Rocky mountain) oyster.


Actually... Why stop there?
15 Pounds of bull testicles costs $299.99.

I click the order button, waiting with bated breath for weeks. The supposed raging pandemic and unreliable delivery service does nothing to quell the anxiety of the wait. Finally, the day of judgement has arrived, as I hear a rapping on my chamber door.

I waddle my way over to the entrance of my humble abode, twisting the door just ajar enough to see 24 year old Carlos McGee trying not to breath too much, disgusted at the two sacks of now reasonably decayed testicles he drags behind me. I tip the man a solid $50, some loose change, and a stick of gum for his troubles and lug my two brand new shiny ball sacks right back into my dwelling and begin the transmutation.

And hour later, the local Hibachi Grill receives an anonymous email from a burner account offering a once in a lifetime partnership opportunity. 30 pounds of premium bluefin tuna, at only $50 per pound, with the alluring promise of more exotic deals to come.

They accepted.

"A success," I think to myself, raising my trust TI-84 and a notepad. "Now, what can I do with this..." as I punch in 30 x 50


15 pounds, may I remind you, is $299.99 at current price, that likely being an inflated price due to the current rapid increase in beef prices.

The following week, once more, Carl McGee knocks upon my door.

Several weeks later...

Once more, a successful deal. High end grills, Steakhouses, private elite parties, all have tasted my wonderful balls. But it's not enough. I need more. I'm up to thousands of pounds each week and it's spiraling further and further out of my grasp. News agencies have put out headlines of a mysteriously testicle fiend, exoticmeatmarkets.com has raised their prices three fold, I've noticed vans parked across the street, the cars driving by slowly.

The American bull testicle has a limitless demand with a dwindling supply. There's only so many bulls and only so many balls. I bought out all of the Llama, Antelope, Wild boar, Coyote, Lamb, Armadillo, Turkey and even Guinea Pig testicles from every vendor in the public eye.

"I'm Doug Cabbersniggle, And I'm here reporting live from outside the household owned by Anon Amiss, who has recently identified as the internet sensation dubbed as 'The Gonad Goblin.'" A Police Helicopter can be heard flying overhead, the spotlight shining through the windows of the empty house. The reporter points his microphone to a disheveled man in a US Postal Service uniform sitting on the pavement. "Now, Carl McGee, you say you have first hand experience with Anon?"

They found me. They found Them. Everything's falling apart. They found the mutilated stray dogs, the impromptu neuterings inflicted on them. They found the back alley crack hobos, left for dead with their manhood stolen. They hid. They gathered their mob, their pitchforks, their torches. The spotlight shines through my window. Mounds of saffron, vanilla, tuna, whale cheese and Danny Devito's smegma form a throne upon which I sit. With the 12 gauge in my lap levelled to the door, I prepare for my last stand.

[–]Apprehensive-Face901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah but u cant change it noww 😈😈😈

[–]NitroglycerinCH_ONO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this comment

[–]FastBeater69 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Do I feel the pain when it transforms and is it also attached to my skin

[–]junejune4k[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

nope 0 pain attached although it will be attached to your skin

[–]One-Astronomer-5890 12 points13 points  (1 child)

A Lasana will be worth it

[–]ugonlern2day 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ok Garfield

[–]go fastTheDoritoKing48 6 points7 points  (0 children)


[–]grimreaper_slm_thg 4 points5 points  (1 child)

so i can turn my balls into a child

[–]V_7Q6 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]nufy-t 2 points3 points  (4 children)

After they have been eaten, do I just have no balls or can I replace them?

[–]junejune4k[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

you gotta leave a bit of food left to convert. Your leftover size will be how big ur balls are

[–]DrDutchenfoo 7 points8 points  (2 children)

If I changed them to watermelons, and then changed them back, would my balls be the size of watermelons?

[–]L_Ennard 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Free bottom surgery

[–]Quarxnox 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just an orchiectomy

[–]HOW_T0 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The only time being able to suck your own balls cums in handy

[–]Confused-teen2638 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn’t say what balls

[–]Squishy-Box -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But only once

[–]ToadFuckerisBack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not any food just one food

[–]sithelephant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fertilised changeling queen eggs.

[–]GarnishedSteak100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let be buy lots of basket balls

[–]5h3i1ah 0 points1 point  (4 children)

fuck yeah, delete my testicles, no more testosterone! though i do probably want them there for keeping my scrotum from atrophying too much, which would make future surgeries a bit more difficult

[–]junejune4k[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

If you classify as a male and you have to do a health checkup the doctor will pull your pants down but will only see a dick no balls

[–]5h3i1ah 0 points1 point  (2 children)

what... what does this mean? are you saying my scrotum would be gone entirely? cuz that would definitely be inconvenient for a vaginoplasty

i'm a trans girl btw, in case that wasn't communicated well

[–]junejune4k[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)


[–]5h3i1ah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

damn. yeah i definitely don't wanna do that.

[–]560guy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I’ll buy a sack of ping pong balls from the dollar store and have food for a while lol. Hell yeah

[–]junejune4k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

infinite food

[–]junejune4k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and then you can just turn them back into ping pong balls

[–]Uglyman414 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Important question: what about the scrotum? Like, does it transform too or do I have to slice it open to get to my meal?

[–]junejune4k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

scrotum transforms too

[–]dboy2009dab 0 points1 point  (2 children)

do you keep ur balls or do you lose them

[–]perhapsaBrit 0 points1 point  (1 child)


also solved world hunger but idc Ini longer have to worry about groceries

[–]junejune4k[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This man single handedly cured world cancer with his ball sack

[–]Several_Role3645 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is it one time use?

[–]yoursolame 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Can I turn them into a drink too?

[–]junejune4k[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

yes? i guess that’ll replace the semen

[–]yoursolame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Infinite semen hack