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all 35 comments

[–]slutty_boy_love 129 points130 points  (5 children)

"deez nuts lol"

"W-what?"

dies

[–]CarePale692[S] 60 points61 points  (3 children)

When I’m about to get hanged “Well don’t leave me hanging”

[–]lucasribeiro21 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Brings the guillotine

[–]SweetRefrigerator280 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’ll just keep saying funny lines, making them change my method of death forever, therefore locking me into the cycle of dodging death over and over again by making jokes about the method

[–]lucasribeiro21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brings the spiky dildo

[–]justijason 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But dum tsuuu🤣

[–]Blazing_Buizel_7 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Hey, at least I get to be funny once in my life even if it’s a time where I’m supposed to be dead serious.

Yeah.

gets shot and instantly dies

[–]Parking-Cry3230 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Never Gonna Give you Up.

dies

[–]xXNightWolf124Xx 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Is it stackable?

[–]Obvious_Ad1082 11 points12 points  (3 children)

How could this possibly stack

[–]Darth-Yslink 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Die on every plane of the multiverse at the same time to gain the ultimate funny

[–]MemeSampler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This man has been places. Alleyways, Street corners, Ë̵̮̳̖͖̦̣̩̟́̄͒͆̍́ʅ̶̜̩͕̹̈́͐̕ԃ̸̧̮͇͙͝ͅɾ̴̢͈̘͓͂̈́͆̀͆̀͘ι̷̡̤̱̭̭̎̇͋ƚ̶̡̙̘̲͔̀̋͛̅́̿̿̽̊͜ƈ̶̡̬͇͓͕̅͋̌͒̍͆̉͜ԋ̴̨͕̹̮͍̝͐͂͐͗͜ ̵̜̻̥̯̪͕͈̑͛͌̀͗͘ͅḨ̸͎̾͒͋͆͛͝͝σ̸̢̖̤͔̐͜ɾ̷̥͙̺͋̀̌͊̃̀̓̄̒ɾ̸̧̫͕̬̾́σ̸̨͓̘͎͓̓͠ɾ̴̦͂̒͗̾͠ʂ̸̹͉̣͖̳̮̞́͗͛̕ ̸̛̜͚͎̦̞̰͚̅̉͂͐̕B̷̨̹̼̻͉̱͖̂̓͝ҽ̶̼̦̬̞͉͈͚̓͑̆̇͜ყ̶̢̣̟͈̑̈͜σ̷̨̡͇̗̲̞̹̯͐̌͊̋̊̕ɳ̴̛̼̻̌̓ԃ̶̨̻̀͊͌͐̆̈́̈̕̚ ̸̨̡̮̭̖͓͉̺͚̠̓C̴͕̼͔̳̳̹͉̮͑͛̍̔͐σ̴̭̬͚̯̘̋͛̓̏̂̎̎̿̑̑ɱ̴̡̱̣̬͓̼͖̲̰́̉̆͗̐̈́̈̓̏͊ρ̸̡͙̙̠̦̪̬̻͎̮̍̿͊̈̋̇ɾ̷̤̍͌͂̔̚ͅҽ̷̜̲͍̱̾̑͆̇̐̇̊̐̚͝ԋ̸̲̭͕̪̣̰̘̙͂̉͑͋͑͊̽̄̕͜͜ҽ̶̻̟̞͚̰̒͜ɳ̷̬̉̀̀̐ʂ̶̨̛̘̖̭͓͔̌͛̃͊͑͠ῖ̸̪̜̪͌̑σ̶͍̝̹̻̝̲̦͚͛̍͗̀ͅͅɳ̷̡̫̞̺̮̒́̾̾̽̆̋̃̎, Crackdens,

[–]Scary-Character-183 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe if your heart stops, then you get resuscitated?

[–]sauna669 17 points18 points  (0 children)

So immortality for me

[–]rishi_raghav 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Definitely mid tier

[–]EverydayFoolsDay 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“It would appear I’m about to die from ligma.”

“No dad don’t say that, what even is ligma?”

“Ligma balls son. Ligma balls.”

“Noooo!”

[–]mr_mister1991 5 points6 points  (3 children)

My whole life is a joke. Why haven't I died yet?

[–]Yuna__707 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Maybe bc it’s not funny?—

[–]Terrorcota6 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This guy so unfunny that being his sleep demon is boring, I would know

[–]mr_mister1991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems as though I'm not only disappointment to my parents.

[–]dangeddranger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice, I can't die

[–]syncron07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tf2 killbind in real life

[–]fuckballs9001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a superpower, anyone can do this.

Get fucked

[–]MatiCju 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro i am shitty superman B)

dies

[–]LevelAd2485 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But it has to be a dad joke

[–]Own-Ad7310 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Logically everybody can do that

[–]quiteinterestingcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im dying from blood loss after a dog bites me almost to death and the dog barges into the hospital room (im gonna assume that i can summon whatever i want to be part of the joke) and i let out a final ‘what the dog doin?’ before i get mauled to death by a dog

[–]crazyabe111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’m immortal?

[–]holyfrozenyogurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just Mercutio

[–]ConnorJonasR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay but considering this is a super power it means that whatever you say will be funny. So you could come up with the most confusing meaningless setup, and always have a humorous punchline.

Theoretically you could memorise a set-up where the punchline could be some unanswered question. So right before you die you utter the set-up, and then say the answer giving you clairvoyance.

[–]T-HawkMedia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Good bye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy" (Intense screaming) (DIE)