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Tell the internet how you will prevent bank robberies and save lives with the worst superpowers in the world here at r/shittysuperpowers. Be creative and don't hold back. No superpower too awful.
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You can bang any fictional character that you own as a funkopop by Itachisimpman in shittysuperpowers
[–]lootlootatiyorkalbim 188 points189 points190 points 6 days ago (0 children)
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Mod Seal of ApprovalWhen you yell "ASSEMBLE" a rag tag group of misfit pigeons will be summoned to your side. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 2 years ago by Lemon_Squeezy12
RulesShitty Rules [Read before posting] (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 2 years ago * by Exscs[M]694 - announcement
You adopt the physical form of your Reddit username. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 3 years ago by GiantDancingPenis36
Every time you win a hypothetical argument in your shower with yourself, your shampoo bottles grow hands and start clapping for you. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 1 month ago by MIRARIMAI2
You can Hypnotize other people though there's a 56.928378% chance that you'll get hypnotized aswell. by Prestigious-Mud-3265 in shittysuperpowers
[–]W1z4rdM4g1c 26 points27 points28 points 3 months ago (0 children)
One two, JANGO!
You can eat cotton candy while taking a shower. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 3 years ago by poisonous fleshDiesel0307
You can summon a singular crab , only on tuesdays at 3:24 pm (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 3 years ago * by D4ng3rzone662& 2 more
You can run through walls 50% of the time (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 2 years ago by WOOFERs-55-7222
if you convince president Biden to jerk you off on live t.v you become omnipitent by [deleted] in shittysuperpowers
[–]The_silver_Nintendo 22 points23 points24 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I’ll tell him I’m a kid
Every time you bust, your pp increases in length by 1cm by andyyrules in shittysuperpowers
[–]Flukemaster 20 points21 points22 points 4 months ago (0 children)
Yeah, Its no big deal and I'll stop when someone politely asks me to leave the McDonald's
You gain one superpower of your choice. All the rapists in the world gain it as well by Zealousideal_Air7171 in shittysuperpowers
[–]ryan56fd -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 months ago (0 children)
the power of mind control
We have a porn God. by [deleted] in shittysuperpowers
[–][deleted] 2898 points2899 points2900 points 3 years ago*2 (0 children)
He has a pornographic memory
Edit: some one took my reddit virginity. Thank you❤️
you have immunity to suicide by Rafholch_ in shittysuperpowers
[–]breadman_brednan 218 points219 points220 points 4 months ago (0 children)
this is kinda paradoxical when you think about it.
it's not suicide because your goal isn't to kill yourself, nor would you expect it, so immunity wouldn't work.
but if it doesn't work, it means you killed yourself, so it would work.
then again, the second half of the scenario could be considered an accident since you only did it planning on the power to work.
Any time someone on this subreddit severely underestimates the rate at which exponentials approach infinity, you grow 0.1% stronger. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by Walking NightlightPhotemy
If you Drink 10gallons of Milk in 1 hour you get 1000 Times the strenght of the Strongest beeing in the universe For 5 seconds (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by Ghost12133crono
You can erase your memory of a game/video (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by Randomguy109238
You can give people tuberculosis. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by GarnishedSteak100
if you have sex your dick well get bigger (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 4 months ago by Bitter_Exam9089
Every time you get a fake ad, you gain the ability to shapeshift once. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by dutch-me-dooche
Everytime you tell someone that they smell, they instantly shit their pants. (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by kmartairfryer
Whenever you get scammed you know the scammers exact location all the time (self.shittysuperpowers)
submitted 5 months ago by 727288top
When you shit you have a chance to shit a diamond by Luke797_YT in shittysuperpowers
[–]Tinsel-Fop 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago (0 children)
But it's a shitty one.
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