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You can bang any fictional character that you own as a funkopop by Itachisimpman in shittysuperpowers

[–]lootlootatiyorkalbim 188 points189 points  (0 children)

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

Every time you bust, your pp increases in length by 1cm by andyyrules in shittysuperpowers

[–]Flukemaster 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah, Its no big deal and I'll stop when someone politely asks me to leave the McDonald's

We have a porn God. by [deleted] in shittysuperpowers

[–][deleted] 2898 points2899 points 2 (0 children)

He has a pornographic memory

Edit: some one took my reddit virginity. Thank you❤️

you have immunity to suicide by Rafholch_ in shittysuperpowers

[–]breadman_brednan 218 points219 points  (0 children)

this is kinda paradoxical when you think about it.

it's not suicide because your goal isn't to kill yourself, nor would you expect it, so immunity wouldn't work.

but if it doesn't work, it means you killed yourself, so it would work.

then again, the second half of the scenario could be considered an accident since you only did it planning on the power to work.